Rebel's Work In Progress

Moving Day!

2011-06-10T18:42:00.006-07:00

I'm moving to a new blog!

Check me out at: http://rebelathome.blogspot.com .

Pinwheels in progress

2011-06-08T20:00:00.004-07:00

Remember all my half square triangles?

Somewhere between class & work, I have managed to make a little progress.

You know the drill, squares into blocks, blocks into rows, rows into...

a finished top! Well, nearly finished, I'm going to add a border of some sort. I'm thinking just white... but maybe something in the corners. What do you think?

Action! Adventure! Quilting!

2011-06-05T15:54:00.009-07:00

My mouth is on fire and my belly is full of som tam and cha yen (spicy papaya salad & Thai iced tea). Pok Pok Noi, a satellite branch of the wildly popular Thai restaurant Pok Pok, has opened up just a 15 min. walk down the street from my apartment. Oh man, it's good stuff! It's about 10 times more expensive than the same food would be in Thailand... but I must admit there's also 100% fewer cockroaches. It was so nice to sit at a table on the sidewalk with my mouth quietly burning as tinny strains of Thai country music poured out from the window beside me. Good times.

Oh, it's nice to be home, and it's nice to have that little taste of nostalgia right up the street, but man my life has been a bit low on action and adventure lately. It's been an ongoing cycle of studying, work, studying, class, studying, laundry, studying, and sleep, occasionally interrupted by an awkward date with an unsuitable gentleman. Livin' la vida aburrida baby!

BUT! That's all about to change. It's summer! Well, it's almost summer, and I've got plans. I decided not to take Spanish 202 this summer, and to just pick it up again in the fall. The up side of this will be a nice long vacation from conjugations, indirect object pronouns and wondering if the table is masculine or feminine. The downside of course will be that when I start classes again I will not remember anything about conjugations, indirect object pronouns, or whether the table is masculine or feminine.

To combat this summer brain-drain I thought I might try to find a Spanish conversation group to meet up with. But last week, an even better opportunity arose. The brother of one of the Spanish teachers at my college came to our class and gave a presentation about Costa Rica... he has a tour agency and organizes educational/cultural tours of Costa Rica for students every year. They stay a few days with local families, spend a day river rafting, take Spanish classes, explore the rain-forest, and visit an indigenous community. Oh yeah... and they spend about half the trip in little cabanas a short walk from white sand beaches on the Caribbean Sea!

I think it took me about 12 seconds to decide that I was going to go. Really all I did was flip through the packet he'd handed out until I found the price, confirmed that it wouldn't put me in debt, then spent the rest of his presentation imagining myself beach-side with an umbrella drink in hand. Yeah. I'm going to Costa Rica this summer. Pura Vida Baby!

I've made peace with the fact that I'm never going to save enough money to be able to buy a house. Travel is a priority in my life and as long as I'm not putting myself in debt to do it, that's what I'll be spending my money on. w00t!

In other news, now that my class is wrapping up, I've started quilting again. Expect a quilting post shortly.

Yay summer!!!

Lots and lots of little squares

2011-04-18T19:42:00.015-07:00

I have a love hate relationship with quilting sometimes. At times I really enjoy the mindless & repetitive tasks.... in particular cutting out the pieces and then grouping them by color & size. I love chain piecing, I'll sit there and pin a whole stack of pieces while watching TV then zoom zoom zoom zoom through my sewing machine. Then I snip & stack the pieces, snip & stack, snip & stack. Love it. But then of course at some point in the process I'll realize "good lord, I've got about 25 more steps before I have an actual quilt."

When it comes to handicrafts some people are process oriented -they don't really care how long it takes to finish a particular piece, they just enjoy the process of working on it, and others are product oriented - these are the folks who like to write lists & check things off. I'm probably about about 30% process oriented and 70% product oriented. I enjoy the process up to the point when I'm piecing the top and it starts to get big. Then the desire to have the finished quilt kicks in and I power through to the end.

I'm in the first 30% of my next few quilts at the moment, but don't have much to show yet.

Way back whenever I'd found this "Rachel's Baskets" quilt pattern in a book I think it was called "Relax & Quilt" (pattern by Marti Michell) and wanted to make it for my niece Rachel.

I had a rather healthy stash of calicoes leftover from my first quilt, so I started cutting out little 31/2" squares out of what I had... picked up a few pretty fat quarters and as time went by with this quilt still in the 'someday' stage I'd cut the scraps from my other quilts into 31/2" squares as well.

You can imagine, I ended up with lots and lots and lots of squares. Lots and lots and lots of little squares.

Well 'someday' kept getting pushed back and eventually my little baby niece was much more interested in Hannah Montana than in cutesy, pretty, little girly-girl calicoes. Oh well. I made her another quilt and was left with all these little squares.

Now, I loves me some scrappy quilts, and am currently curled up under my very first calico quilt, but my tastes are changing and I really want to start transitioning my stash more into the batik world. But in order to do that I need to mentally and physically start clearing out some space.

To that end... all these little squares have to go someplace. I've got two ideas in mind.

1. A pink pinwheel quilt... I'm thinking lap-sized (or you know baby-quilt sized if any of my friends would actually have a GIRL for a change - I've made about 9 or 10 baby quilts and all but 1 were for boys!)

2. A calico / white half square triangle quilt something like this one from an appropriately named quilt blog "squares & triangles" :

And to that end I've been making little half square triangles like a mad-woman.

Matching and pinning.

Sewing and snipping.
Flipping and pressing.

Ah... and when you flip 'em and press 'em open you get the wonky little tabs at the corners. I guess I could leave them in, but then the seems would be thicker than necessary... gotta square 'em up.

Snipping and sorting.

So that's what I've been working on. And I'm at the point where I'm getting a weee bit tired of the repetitiveness and thinking "good lord I've got 25 more steps to go!" But I guess it's all part of the process.

Batik Bricks

2011-03-21T19:48:00.004-07:00

I finished up Batik Bricks a little while ago.

I didn't do anything fancy with it, just some diagonal quilting, and what is becoming my signature (lazy) straight line quilting in the border. I think it turned out fine. I'm still not okay with the purple, but oh well.

Lesson learned... if I don't love the fabrics, I'm probably not going to love the quilt.

Oh... and in February I finished up this Pirate quilt, and gave it away on Saturday.

Somehow though, I completely forgot to take any pictures of it finished up! I did a thin black inner border, and I can't remember if I did a red outer border... or if I just finished it with red on the back & red binding. Gah... it looked pretty good, can't believe I forgot the finished shot. Oh well.

So I hadn't posted it in February, but it was finished, so that's 3 finished quilts in the first three months of the year. If I keep on this pace, I could conceivably meet the 12 quilts in a year challenge... but I'm not sure how hard I'm going to pursue that.

Stand Up

2011-03-19T18:14:00.009-07:00

I'm continuing to play around with art quilts although I'm still somewhat uncomfortable using the term "art" to describe anything I've made. Exuberant Color has done a few posts on Journal Quilts and I very much like the idea of using a smaller format to experiment with techniques or color or whatever. So I think I'm going to start doing more Journal Quilts.

The recent earthquake/tsunami/nuclear catastrophe in Japan has really brought me to tears on several occasions. But what has struck me more than anything has been the Japanese people's calm and determined response. There's been no looting or panicked rioting, just a solid resolve to pick up the pieces and move forward through their overwhelming grief. After looking through some editorial cartoons I was inspired to create something of my own to express what's been happening.

It was kinda weird actually, I'd saved a bit of frayed ribbon from a gift for no good reason - but I think it worked well here. Also, months ago I'd experimented with soaking fabric in salt water, then drying it out just to see what happens. Not surprisingly it creates a kind of interesting white crust, which again... seemed pretty appropriate. I put most of this together last night after work and finished it up today. It seems weird to say I like it considering the subject matter... but I am really pleased with it (despite the wonky embroidery), and intend to do more journal quilts in the future.

I'm still here...

2011-03-04T18:31:00.005-08:00

and I have actually been quilting. I've just been so dang busy lately with my new job and taking Spanish classes. Between my commute time and class time and homework time, there's just not a lot of time for much else.

But slowly & surely I've been piecing this - Batik Bricks. Originally I'd bought the red & purple fabrics to make a quilt for a friend but when I showed her another batik quilt she told me that she wasn't really a fan. So much for that - I figured I'd just make it for myself. The thing is... I'm not a huge fan of the color combination.

So I'm going to finish this one up, but I don't know what I'm going to do with it. All I know is I've got to stop making quilts for other people. Or at least I need to make a bunch more for me first.

I was reading on another blog a couple weeks ago about quilts as works of arts or as functional pieces... and in the comments there was a split among the quilters, some who want their quilts used and loved and worn to pieces over a lifetime on beds & couches and others who liked to keep their quilts pristine, see them as works of art & display them proudly, or keep them safely tucked away in closets to look at once in a while. Obviously those are the two extremes, and most people are somewhere in the middle. But personally I'm a use 'em to bits kind of quilter.

But I do also like the artistic aspect of quilting and... my personal confession is that sometimes I take out all of my quilts just to look at them. =)

Ok - back to homework now. Tengo mucho tarea.

First FO of the new year!

2011-01-17T21:53:00.006-08:00

Thanks go this three-day weekend, I was able to finish up my first quilt of the 2011. Technically I started it in 2010... but it was just a top, all of the quilting & binding took place this year.

As with all the quilts I make, I absolutely love this one. The fabrics make me sooooo happy. Thus, I'm calling it my Happy Batiks quilt. Went with my new favorite quilting technique - wavy diagonal lines. I'm really starting to feel like my quilting is improving.

*Just wanted to add that I want to show this quilt at the Sister's Outdoor Quilt show this summer. I'm also trying to decide if I want to offer it for sale there or not. As I was making it my intention was to try to make this one for sale, but then I got it all finished up and I just love it! Selling a quilt you've made yourself is almost like selling your baby, you know?

If I ever do decide to start selling my quilts, I think the key will be to make two identical quilts at the same time... and keep one for myself!!

My quilting heritage

2011-01-15T14:27:00.005-08:00

When I visited my family in December my Mom dug out a few quilt tops that she had inherited when her mother passed away and they cleaned out the house. My Mom was never a quilter, she mostly made clothes for us when we were kids, although she did make a few applique pillows and things like that. Now that I'm the quilter in the family, she gave them to me. =)

My Grandma had been a seamstress in a clothing factory, and would use whatever scraps she had to make quilts. I've seen a few of her quilts and to be honest - they're not beautiful. She used polyester or cotton/poly blends because that was what they were making clothes from where she worked. And her eye for color was... well, eccentric I guess. I loved my grandma... I promise, and I'd never want to speak ill of the dead. But her quilts were never meant to be art pieces, they were functional, practical, 'waste-not-want-not' blankets. So forgive me when I warn you that this particular quilt top is ugly as sin.

The blocks themselves are not that bad... a variety of fabrics, mostly men's shirting, cotton & some cotton/poly blends (I'm guessing based on feel and shininess... I'm certainly no expert). It's all machine sewn. And she changed up the orientation of the half square triangles in some of the blocks. Can anyone tell me what these blocks are called? Do they have a pattern name?

The only real 'sin' in this quilt are the fabrics she chose to border the blocks & in the sashing. It feels like a really poor quality cotton, and good lord Grandma... what's with the little red & yellow kids? It really does clash with the blocks. But my Mom said that she thinks Grandma had used the blue and yellow fabrics to make dresses for some of my cousins. So... again, waste not want not.

It's now up to me to finish it up. I've seriously considered un-picking the blocks and using a solid blue for the borders & sashing to remake the top, then to at least preserve Grandma's intent... use the blue 'dancing children' fabric in the backing. But then I showed it to a friend, he argued that, you know - this is the real deal. This is a woman who worked and used what she had available to make something functional, and that I should preserve her choices. It's a strong argument. And honestly, this is one of only two things I have that my Grandma actually made (she was much more of a cook / baker, and what I wouldn't give for one more jar of her currant jam!!). But if I finish it up as is... it's unlikely that I'll actually display it in my home. Whereas if it were just the blocks & a plain blue background, I'd proudly display it on my sofa or bed.

So what do you think? How should I finish it up?

Next up is a top from *her* mother... my Great-Grandmother. And this one is much more in my color palette & taste. I just love this bow-tie pattern.

Looking at the fabrics... they feel like they're all cotton, one of the yellows is a waffle weave, and the sashing fabric is a very loose weave, but they're generally in good shape. The thing that cracks me up is that some of them look *exactly* like some of the reproduction 1930s fabrics that are popular right now. Except, you know, these are most likely *actual* 1930s fabrics!

Unfortunately, as they say on Antiques Roadshow, there are some condition issues. The yellow waffle weave in particular seems to be pulling away from the fabrics it's sewn to. So there are some seams that need repair. Does anyone have any advice for that?

The blocks were hand pieced, and then the yellow sashing was machine sewn on later. I'm wondering if my Great-Grandma did that or if maybe my Grandma inherited the blocks & sewed on the sashing.

Without getting too sappy, I do feel honored to be carrying on the tradition of quilting in my family. Both of these projects will be huge undertakings, and I'm not sure if my skill is quite up to it yet. But at least with the one from my Grandma, I know she would want it finished up and used to pieces. I'm fairly certain that she's the source of my Mother's and my strong practicality gene (if there is such a thing) and she wouldn't want her quilt top just sitting around gathering dust for another generation. The yellow one though... will need a careful hand, so I might hold on to it for a while.

In with the new...

2011-01-01T00:01:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year!!

I know New Year's Resolutions are made to be broken, but there are several things I hope to accomplish this year.

1. Take care of my health.
A few things fall under this one, first get a new doctor. Second, see the optometrist and get new glasses. Third - I'd like to join a gym and get back into swimming. It won't be quite as fun as swimming in the bathwater warm teal blue waters of the Gulf of Thailand, but it will be good for me. I'm also going to give up Dr. Pepper specifically and in general try to cut down on my soda / fast food consumption....limiting it to once a week at the very most.

2. Get in good financial shape.
I'm pretty happy that I've managed to furnish my apartment, start taking classes, and travel a bit while still staying debt-free this year. But I've got virtually nothing in my savings account, and like everyone else's, my IRA took quite a hit in 2009 and won't be recovering any time soon on it's own. So for 2011, I need to start putting a bit more money into savings & investing.

3. Creative aspirations.
I'm pretty happy with the amount of quilting I've been doing, but I really want to step it up a notch. I want to put a quilt in a show this year, most likely Sister's Outdoor Quilt Show. But if I don't finish something up in time for that, I'll aim for a local show.

4. Philanthropy.
The one thing I slacked off on this year as I rebuilt my own life, was giving back to others. So in 2011 I want to start contributing to a charity and try to volunteer a bit too.

5. Take the next few steps on my career path.
It looks like this year will be when I choose a grad program and apply for it. I'm aiming for Fall 2012 admissions... so this will take place in late 2011... but it's still something I'll be working towards.

And that's about it as far as formal goals for 2011. Wish me luck!

Out with the old...

2010-12-31T18:34:00.005-08:00

I know 2011 was a tough year for a lot of people, I know a number of people who experienced personal or professional losses. But personally it was a great year for me, a year of rebuilding and getting back on my feet.

I got a job, and recently a promotion. I got a nice big apartment in an awesome part of town. I went from owning nothing larger than would fit in some Rubbermaid bins to having a pretty comfortably furnished home. So materially at least, things are going well.

I'm also on a good path towards my master's degree, having taken two Spanish classes and signed up for a third. And I've started looking at different grad programs to apply for with an eye towards a career as an English teacher.

My creativity has improved this year too. I finished 9 quilts and started a handful more. So much for only working on one project at a time. ;) I also dipped my toe into the world of art-quilts and had a lot of fun making a few wall hangings. I haven't done quite as much knitting, but I did make a few hats. Oh, and I got to try glass-blowing for the first time ever. It was amazing, and I hope to do it again.

My personal life also experienced a bit of an upswing for a while. I was dating a someone for a good portion of the year, and although it hasn't worked out romantically... we're still friends. I call that a big win.

There were even a few travel related adventures this year. I spent a weekend in San Francisco visiting a friend, and generally enjoying the city. Then for the holidays I visited my family in Nashville for a week. Nothing exotic... but it's always nice to get out and about.

My time in Thailand was, obviously, a very significant event in my life... and in some ways it feels like I just got back. But I've now been back in the States for almost as long as I was gone. So I'm glad to look back and see that I have not been idle since returning. All in all, 2011 was a pretty fantastic year for me.

Go Titans!

2010-12-11T09:43:00.004-08:00

Having made a quilt for my niece, I felt obligated to make something for my nephew as well. Maybe not the purest of quilting intentions... but there you go. He's a boy... so it was rather more of a challenge. But my brother in law was telling me a story of how they went to a Titans game last year, but it was so cold they ended up leaving just after half time. So hopefully next time they go, they'll remember to bring this & get to stay for the whole game!
I used the same pattern I used for the puppy quilt I made a while ago. It only took a week, start to finish. Not the most amazing quilt ever. But I am happy with how it turned out. And my nephew liked it well enough. Not as much as the light up glitter ball I got him (from Brookstone), or the light-saber chapstick, but he consented to have it on his bed. ;)

Again, I used wavy lines for the quilting. Nothing fancy. I bought some of the fabric online... this was a first for me. One of them I ended up not using. I really really didn't like it. The quality was really low even though it was 100% cotton. I think in the future I'll stick to shopping in fabric stores... or at least only buying from big name manufacturers.

So that's what I've been up to.... finishing some Christmas presents. And now that I've gotten my obligatory family trip out of the way, I'm free to celebrate the rest of the season the way I want to! First up - Tuba Christmas in downtown Portland. =)

Floral Stripes - finished!

2010-12-11T09:11:00.005-08:00

I just got back from Christmas with my family, and was able to give my niece and nephew their quilts. Here's the one I made for Rachael... I'm thrilled with how it turned out.

It's just a lap sized quilt, but it fits well enough on the top of her bed.

I've decided that wavy lines are my new favorite way to quilt!

And I feel like I'm finally getting the hand of machine binding. It's not absolutely perfect, but it looks good.

I love love love this quilt. And my niece liked it too. Which you know, is good. ;)

I should really be studying Spanish.

2010-11-07T19:10:00.005-08:00

But I'm not... I've been just quilt quilt quilting away!

I had a bunch of tiny half-square triangle blocks left over from my Ruby lap-quilt. I didn't want to waste them, so I made a little wall hanging.

Nothin' fancy really, I used the same general light/dark pattern I used on the green quilt. The quilting is just wavy diagonal lines, which I think worked well. I'm really happy with the binding too. Binding is my least favorite part of quilting, and while I still hate it, but now I think I'm finally getting the hang of it.

Since this was intended as a wall-hanging, I decided to make a sleeve for the back... actually I made two. I sewed the top part in with the binding, and then hand sewed the bottom part, with enough give in it to allow me to put a rod through it.

I don't actually have a proper quilt hanging... dealie, so I improvised. This picture was taken before I'd tacked down the bottom part of the sleeves - they don't show now.

I really like it!

Emeralds

2010-10-31T22:10:00.004-07:00

Do you remember this?

I finished it up a while ago, but I finally got to give it away. So here it is!

Yet another baby quilt. A very cute baby boy... the nursery is in greens & browns so this will fit right in. I really like how the contrast works in this one. The quilting is diagonal lines 1/4" outside the ditch, the border is just parallel lines.

Not much else to say actually. Except that I hope to make a quilt like this for myself some day soon!

Obsessed?

2010-10-10T07:51:00.004-07:00

What makes you say that?

I have been quilting up a storm lately. Seriously, all I want to do is stay home and quilt... all day long. Which is a slight problem when one has... you know, a JOB and all.

But here's what I've been working on.

Valorie Well's Stripes for my niece - the quilting is well underway. I'm doing straight lines down the brown side stripes and wavy lines down all the other stripes. It's easy, and I'm liking the effect, but because I'm quilting it much than I usually do, it's taking a long time. I usually skimp on the quilting part, only doing enough to hold down the pieces... but I've realized how much I love tightly quilted pieces, so I'm going to start doing a bit more.

And I've picked up a new (old) project. After being trapped in my apartment for 3 days by the approximately 2 1/2 inches of snow we got in 2008, I made my way to the fabric store to replenish my stash. I bought a bunch of bright & happy batiks to counter all the cold grey snow. Well, last week I picked up those happy batiks and took them from this:

to this:

and then, to this:

I don't usually like pieced blocks, greatly preferring scrappy one-patch patterns, but this pattern was perfect showcase for the fabrics. I've actually got the blocks all sewn into rows, and will probably finish up the top today.

The thing is, I'm kind of stumped as to how to quilt this one. I'm not even sure what color thread to use considering the high contrast between the white, the black & the colors. Maybe a grey? Any ideas or suggestions??

I've also started another new project, a wall-hanging made from the scraps of my Rubies & Diamonds quilt. This will be the first time I've made a quilt specifically for hanging on the wall - I'm going to make a sleeve for it and everything!

So, that's what I've been up to. As someone else mentioned, it feels like I'm making up for the year of no-quilting in Thailand, and it feels really good. Now that it's getting cold, I've pulled out several of my quilts, and I just can't tell you how happy they make me. I love the colors and the textures and the fact that *I* made them. Maybe I'm obsessed, maybe I've just really gotten into a creative groove. Either way I'm pretty happy. =)

Rubies

2010-10-01T21:26:00.008-07:00

Here she is, my new favorite quilt!

I loves loves loves it. I'm absolutely absurdly happy about it.

The quilting is pretty simple, although it was a pain in the but to keep turning it through the sewing machine.

Yeah, it stayed folded up for like 4 seconds, but now it's on me. Even though it's a lap quilt, I think I'll be keeping it on my bed for the foreseeable future. =)

Air

2010-09-20T19:18:00.004-07:00

Here is my second ever art quilt. It's actually unfinished in this picture - too lazy to finish binding it before taking the picture.

The theme is air and I've been thinking about it since I made my first art quilt, which was more of a forest-y earth theme. I've also got a water themed quilt in mind.

Things I liked about this quilt:
1. The idea was stuck in my mind and it was starting to bug me, so I'm glad I finally got it out.
2. I used a piece of felt instead of batting, and that made it easier to work with.
3. I think the freehand embroidery turned out pretty well.

The thing I don't so much like about it:
1. I rushed it, I was really impatient to get it out and got kind of sloppy. I do that a lot.
2. It was super hard to sew the feather down without just mashing it down, so that wasn't so awesome.

Overall, I like playing with my fabrics, I like embellishing, and I like doing little projects just for me. So I'm going to keep exploring the idea of art quilts... and next time dedicate a bit more time to it, so I can be happier with the quality of it.

Quilts in progress

2010-09-05T10:52:00.006-07:00

I'm really happy with how much quitling I've been doing since I've been back. I've finished five quilts in nine months. Not bad... and I've got a few more on deck.

1. Mystery quilt #1: It's almost finished, I just need to add the binding. I hate binding. =( But I love love LOVE this quilt, and it's another one I almost don't want to give away.

2. Mystery quilt #2: Just getting started, I've cut out a few of the pieces, I don't think it'll take too long to finish up though.

3. Rubies: It's well underway, I've done about half the quilting. If I just sat and did it, I could easily finish it up in a week... but see projects 1 & 2 above for why I haven't.

4. & 5. Flying Geese & Stripes: Both tops are done, and both need to be backed, quilted & finished up. I'm seriously considering sending the flying geese one out to be professionally quilted, I just need to find a professional quilter & get an estimate of cost. I'm hoping to find someone who will just take it as is and not ask me to pin or baste it first.

The striped one should be pretty easy, I'm not planning on doing anything fancy with the quilting. My goal is to have it done by Christmas to give to my niece.

6. Well, if I'm gonna give a quilt to my niece, I need to make one for my nephew as well. I've got an idea... but that's it. I should probably get workin' on it!

7. Gaaaaah! This thing was supposed to be a flower basket quilt for my niece... and when I started it she was young enough to like a flowery girly quilt like this but now that she's a 'Tween... not gonna cut it. I don't particularly want a flower basket quilt and on top of that, I made some design changes between cutting out the blocks and starting to sew them together. If I keep going as is, there's gonna have to be math. I hate math. =( So I may just cut my losses here and re-appropriate the fabrics for another cause.

8. I really want to make more 'art quilts' for lack of a better word. Really I just want to play with fabric & embellishments on a small scale. I have some ideas and am excited to try them out.

So that's what's going on in my quilting world. I hope to have all of these finished up before the end of the year. Which may be a bit unrealistic when I start taking classes again. But it's good to have goals. =)

Playtime!

2010-09-01T22:39:00.005-07:00

I've been putting a fair bit of work on gift quilts and really needed some time to play. There was an inspiring article in one my old copies of Quilting Arts Magazine (February/March 2008) about collage quilts, basically embellishing quilted panels with a variety of objects. It's like the perfect play-time project to do with some of the scrap fabric I've been collecting. I designated Tuesday night as play-time and I can't tell you how excited I was about it.

On my way home from work I collected all of these goodies.

Then I sewed up some of my favorite green batik scraps, aiming for a 3" x 5" postcard quilt size.

I added the found objects using a kind of animal/vegetable/mineral concept. You can't hardly see the 'animal' component - it's the wool yarn tying the rock down. Then I embellished it with some embroidery threads.

I got most of it done on Tuesday... but finished up some of the embroidery and the binding tonight. Verdict = SUPER FUN! And I think I can call this my first official "art quilt" - whatever that means. ;) I already have some ideas for the next couple I want projects I want to do.

Snips and Snails...

2010-08-28T07:51:00.004-07:00

Although I haven't been posting... I have been crafting. But again, more gifts (I have extremely fecund friends) ... so I haven't wanted to post them until I gave them away.

In addition to my friends reproducing like rabbits, they're all bringing little boys into the world. Which is lovely and all... except that my quilting stash leans heavily in the girly-pink-floral direction. I was really stumped about this particular quilt. I knew I'd need a quick and easy pattern, and I knew it couldn't be a 'scrappy' quilt because I just didn't have enough fabric for that.

So I'd been popping into quilt shops here and there looking for inspiration. It finally came when I visited the Oregon Coast back in... uh... May maybe? There were all these puppy prints in half-yard and yard cuts already wrapped up. The couple happens to have to dogs, and you know... snips & snails & puppy dog tails seemed appropriate. I picked up a healthy stack and called it good. Then I headed to the library and flipped through a whole stack of quilt books until I found this, basic, but really useful pattern. I may have even bumped up the size of the blocks a bit so it would make up faster. Yeah yeah... I'm such a cheater.

Anyway, no more chatting... here are the pictures. Here's the full quilt on a bright sunny day.
The puppy paw prints went well with the larger dog prints, but the doggy toy print didn't really go. It was too cute to pass up though... so it makes good backing fabric!
Close up of the doggies... I set them every-which-way so they wouldn't have to worry about the right side up, they could just throw it on the floor & it would be interesting from every direction. Yeah, that and I'm lazy. ;)
Despite picking an easy pattern, I still didn't have it done by the baby-shower, not by a long shot (stupid work & Spanish classes taking up all my quilting time). I finally mailed it off last week, and lo & behold she went into labor. The new dad sent me an email yesterday, when they came home from the hospital the package was on their doorstep. So I got it in just under the wire! He sent me a picture of the baby with his quilt. Which cracks me up because he's soooo small right now, he makes the quilt look gigantic. I guess he'll grow into it soon enough. =)
I hope he likes it!

Grandma's Peach Cobbler.... sort of

2010-07-12T21:14:00.006-07:00

I was blessed to have grown up with a southern Grandma. She was, as is required by South Carolina's state law, an amazing cook. Biscuits and gravy, fried okra, and oh sweet lord - Peach Cobbler.* The peaches she could get were as big as my head, perfectly ripe, soft and so flavorful, they were just heavenly. My mom also made a mean peach cobbler, but living in NJ, then CA meant we never quite got the same flavor as grandma did. Nevertheless, this peach cobbler beats anything you'll find in a restaurant hands down!

When I moved out on my own, this was one recipe I made sure to write down. In fact I wrote it down in this cutesy little journal my mom had given me that ended up being the repository for all my family recipes and little bits of advice to myself as I negotiated the challenges of living on my own. I even pasted a picture of my 'dream home' in the back. It was that kind of journal.

Anyway this is one of the things that counted as a precious possessions when I left for Thailand and I was sure to save it. Unfortunately I didn't write down specifically where I packed it and haven't been able to locate it. =(Never fear! My sister is also a fan of grandma's peach cobbler and had written down a copy of the recipe and sent it to me in a care package at some point. So when a friend brought over a box of peaches the other day, I knew what I had to do.

The problem was... my sister had taken a few liberties with the recipe (replacing the batter with a bisquick batter & cutting down the butter a bit) and while I noticed it was different... I couldn't remember the exact recipe I'd gotten from my mom. Anyway... regardless of the specific measurements, the secret is in the method of preparation.

You start with three bowls, the fruit the batter and the BUTTAH!
The fruit: 3 cups of peaches (the better your peaches, the better this will be) & 1/2 cup of sugar mix them up by hand. I squirted a tiny bit of lemon juice on the, only because these peaches are good, but not superior and I wanted to bump up the flavor a bit.

The batter: my sister calls for a cup of bisquick 1/2 cup of sugar and "enough milk to make it the right consistency." I was chatting with her** while baking & she described it as "thinner than a biscuit dough, but thicker than pancake batter... about like waffle batter". I didn't have bisquick, so I used a cup of flour, 1 1/2 teaspoons of baking powder & about 3/4 cup of milk.

The butter: Again... a difference between her recipe and grandma's... she said 1/2 a stick of butter, but I am SURE my grandma's recipe called for a full stick of butter to be melted in the casserole dish as the oven preheats (350F). I compromised and used about 2/3 of a stick.

Now what you do is wait until the butter gets all melty and bubbly and wonderful, then you POUR THE BATTER INTO THE BUTTER, and *then* you pour the fruit into the batter. DO.NOT. STIR. This is the critical part. I have seen cobblers where they put the fruit in the bottom, then put little rounds of biscuits on top. It makes me want to cry. That's not cobbler!! WTF?Because what happens is you put it in the oven for about 45 mins, and the batter will bubble up through the fruit and get all fruity & wonderful on the inside, and fry up in the butter on the outside and get all crispy brown and coated with awesomeness. When you take it out of the oven, it will be all kinds of bubbly and juicy... spoon some of the juices/butter up over the doughy parts while it's still warm.

I swear to you, having cobbler this way will change your life! Ok... or maybe it will just make you make a lot of intense yummy noises.

You can eat this pure (it's best a little warm, but good cooled off too), but naturally adding a scoop of vanilla ice cream or fresh whip cream will just take it over the top. I have had this peach cobbler for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and am pretty sure this is what heaven tastes like.

This cobbler also has magical powers. Or perhaps it was Grandma looking down on me and giving me a helping hand. But while the cobbler was in the oven I hunted through my boxes of books and on my second time through one of the boxes I *finally* found the book with all my recipes in it. =) So here is the actual recipe from my grandma... and the explanation for why my sister wrote it down 'wrong'... she was halving the recipe.

6 cups sliced peaches
1 1/2 cups sugar (in a bowl, set aside)

1 1/2 sticks of butter (melt in a casserole dish)

batter
1 cup sugar
1 1/2 cups flour
1 Tablespoon baking powder
pinch salt
1 1/2 cups milk

Put the batter in the butter, put the fruit in the batter, do not stir. Bake at 350 for 45 min.

*In the interest of full disclosure, I should probably tell you that she died of a heart attack, but the way I see it, life without peach cobbler wouldn't be much a life I'd want to live anyway. =P

**castigating her vehemently for taking liberties with Grandma's recipe.

Muffins

2010-06-30T22:42:00.006-07:00

I'm getting reacquainted with my cookbooks here and have recently discovered the American's Test Kitchen recipe for Big Beautiful Muffins. I'm hooked!

The not-so-secret ingredient is yogurt, instead of milk or oil or whatever. The Apricot Almond version called for dried apricots, but all I had were... uh are these nectarines? I only ended up using two of them. And in addition to the almond extract I added some chopped up almonds for an extra crunch.

I'm really impressed with how well this recipe works out, it smells awesome in the oven. They smell so good I was able to tell when they were done even though my timer decided it didn't really want to work tonight. =( The tops are perfectly crunchy and the inside is nice and moist, using almond extract gives it a good flavor all the way through the muffin, and really compliments the fruitiness. I think it's the yogurt that lets it keep it's big fluffy shape.

Mmmmmmm muffins!

Making stuff

2010-06-18T19:40:00.006-07:00

Hi Everybody! =) How do you like the blog face-lift?

Here's something I baked the other day. It's based on the Onion Boards recipe from my trusty-dusty Sunset Breads cookbook, but I've modified it quite a bit over the years. If you want a quick & easy loaf... this is not for you. If you want super awesome yummy sandwich/hamburger buns, strap on your apron and and get cooking.

Ingredients:
1 pkg active dry yeast
2 cups luke-warm water
2 Tbls sugar
2 tsp salt
4 cups whole wheat flour
1 cup white flour (plus more later)
1 sauteed onion

1 egg
coarse salt

Oven: 375F
Bake time: 20-25 mins
Overall time: 2 days.

Day 1
Chop up & saute a white or yellow onion in a little butter on medium for as long as it takes to get good and brown. Mmmmmmmm ... onions! Let 'em cool down.

In the bowl of your world-class superhero of a Kitchen Aide Stand Mixer, mix the yeast and water & a bit of the sugar. Let it sit a minute just to make sure the yeast is active. Remember, yeast is alive- pay attention to the expiration date on the package, and don't kill it with hot water. If the yeast looks good, add the sugar, salt & a cup of the wheat flour. Mix it well.
Slowly add the remaining wheat flour mixing for several minutes between additions of flour.

Seriously... let it mix well, let it rest a minute or two, mix it a few minutes more. You're trying to work up the gluten so it's good and stretchy. After adding all the wheat flour, mix in the onions. Again, give it enough time to really mix in. It should be looking a bit wet again, so then add the final cup of white flour. All told, I probably let it mix/rest/mix/rest for at least half an hour. (I was watching So You Think You Can Dance, I'd let it rest during the dancing, mix during the comments, then go check on it/add more flour on commercials.)

You should have a good medium-soft dough, turn it out onto a floured board, fold it over a couple times, shape it into a ball, and place it in a well greased bowl. Cover with plastic wrap (I didn't have any, I used foil... nothing bad happened. ;) ) and place it in the fridge overnight.

When you take it out of the fridge, it will have risen quite a bit, and it will be COLD. Punch it down, reshape it, put it back in the bowl. Let it sit out and get to room temperature. I left it out on the counter all day while I went to work. But you probably don't need to let it rise that long, but a give it a good 4-5 hours at least.

When I got home... the dough was well up to the top of the bowl here... although, naturally I forgot to get a picture. Empty the dough onto a floured board, dust the top with flour and gently degass it, shape it, let it sit for a minute or two to rest.

Using a sharp knife cut the dough into 10 - 12 equal pieces, depending on if you want bigger rolls or smaller rolls. Shape them into balls, but press them down good & flat. Place them on a well greased (or seasoned) baking stone. Let them sit for another half hour, hour or so. I went and got some dinner... when I got back I turned on the stove.

Preheat the oven to 375F and mix up the egg wash. Egg white is supposed to make crust shiny, egg yolk is supposed to make the crust soft, I just mixed up a whole egg and called it good. Brush the tops with the egg, then sprinkled some coarse salt on the tops. You could use sesame seeds if you want, but I like salt!Bake them for 20-25 minutes, until they sound hollow when you knock on the tops.

They turned out really really well, soft and a little chewy, a good wheaty-oniony flavor, very good for sandwiches and hamburgers. I'm planning on putting some pork & bbq sauce in the crock pot tomorrow... and that should make for some gooooood pulled pork sandwiches. =)

Code Durian

2010-05-19T18:59:00.005-07:00

I've been watching events unfold in Thailand, and I have to say I'm just in shock right now. There had been, you may recall on and off protests for the past year or so. Mostly it's based on the division between the poor rural folks in the northeast of Thailand (generally the red shirts) who support the exiled former Prime Minister Thaksin and the middle/upper class urban folks in Bangkok (generally the yellow shirts) who support the current PM Abhisit (the side supported by the military, and it is rumored backed by the King). I believe most of my students were yellow-shirts... although Rayong was pretty evenly split between the two groups.

As far as I know, everything in Rayong is fine. The violence has been pretty focused on a few areas in Bangkok... and this afternoon I got a warning email from the US Consulate in Thailand (I can't figure out how to get off the mailing list) that said there's also been some violence in Chiang Mai (a city much more sympathetic to the red-shirts). About a third of the country is under curfew tonight though. And quite frankly, I'm very happy not to be there right now.

One of my favorite places in Bangkok was Siam Center... a complex of really high end malls. Just one BTS stop farther was Central World. I went there once after getting my Visa at the Vietnam consulate. Well, 'Wireless Road' where most of the consulates are, was the site of a lot of the protests, and they've now burned down Central World. Guys - this is BIG. It's not quite World Trade Center big. But it is like setting fire to a building in Time Square. Fortunately, most people have been avoiding the area for a while, and even the red-shirts had been given pretty fair warning that the army was moving in to disburse the protests. But I can't imagine the financial impact this destruction will have.

Bangkok Burning.

I'm just in shock about the whole thing. These are the areas where I felt safe, the NICE areas of Bangkok where I went to relax and have fun on my days off. The Thai people in general are so easy going and laid back, that this just seems unreal. But people were killed... right there in the streets, right at the BTS stop where I bought my tacky silver flip flops.

I don't have anything profound to say about this. I just wanted to bring it to your attention. It's one of the things about travel- obscure places that you only hear a 30 second sound bite about in the news become real places, places where I've shopped and eaten. Political struggles are not just among faceless others... but people I taught, shared meals with, held onto dearly on the back of motorbikes.

It seems that the immediate violence is over in Bangkok. But I have no idea if or when this situation will ever be resolved. But right now.... it's a nightmare.

A little less conversation a little more action please.

2010-04-01T21:58:00.001-07:00

My mom (like most women of her age) was a serious Elvis fan. So while I am of course familiar with his music and I've seen the clips of the women screaming and fainting in the aisles...I never really got into him. He was just someone my *mom* liked ... you know, he was (or would be) OLD! But I was just watching some clips of Elvis in his prime and dude - HE WAS HOT! Like, seriously seriously hot. I get it now.

Anyway... my point being, in between clips of Elvis and all, I've been pretty busy in my real life and haven't been taking the time to update my blog.

I'm still plugging away at the red batik quilt... toying with the name Rubys & Diamonds, I'm maybe halfway done with the quilting, if I really sat down with it, I could finish it in a weekend. But I get tired of having to move the entire quilt around every time I turn a corner... so I'm taking it slow.I pulled together the leftover fabric from my Valerie Wells funky squares quilt and made up a quilt top that I like vastly more than the original quilt.
Still haven't gotten my good camera fixed, so the colors aren't great in this picture.

It's a bit narrower than I'd like it to be, but I'm about out of fabric. As it was, I was kind of improvising with the solid brown stripes on the sides. Fortunately my niece is a very skinny little girl, and I think this one will be right up her alley with the bright colors and floral patterns. Still gotta decide on a quilting pattern... something with long straight(ish) lines! But there's no reason this couldn't be done in time for either her Birthday (in July) or Christmas. We'll see.

I've picked up some knitting WIPs too recently, although I haven't made much progress on anything.

A quilt I actually like

2010-03-09T21:13:00.003-08:00

I told you guys that I loved this green quilt so much I almost kept it. Instead I stocked up on batiks at a Fabric Depot and started making one for myself. I actually finished the top up a little while ago... can't remember exactly when. I love love love the colors, and the pattern. I'm wishing I had made it just a little bigger. But it's okay as is.

It's in the quilting stage, I'm doing the same echo quilting I did with the green quilt. It's slow going, but I'm plugging away at it. Again, lesson learned - only long lines until I get my hands on a long arm quilt.

What I've been doing when I haven't been blogging.

2010-03-07T17:36:00.001-08:00

So you saw one quilt that I worked on but couldn't post about until after the shower... and here's another one. I'm pretty sure the mom doesn't even know I have a blog, but you never know!

This is for a couple I've known for a very long time. I went to college with the Dad to be, and met the mom shortly after that. They're another couple I know who tried for quite a while to have kids, and suffered a few setbacks along the way. So everyone's super excited for them. Of course I was going to make a quilt... but dang, this was the second baby shower I was invited to before I even had my own apartment!

For this one I used mostly fabrics from my stash, although I didn't have quite enough for the backing or border, so I picked up a yard each of red & blue at a Fabric Depot sale. I was a bit stumped for what pattern to use so I fell back on a basic 2x2 block in light & dark blues and red... the colors of the nursery.

I tried to avoid too much white because I didn't want it to look too patriotic. But truth be told, a lot of these fabrics went into my flag quilt, so there are blue fabrics with white stars and some of the reds are bandana-esque. Oh well.. this *is* America.

I like throwing together the back using left-over blocks.

The quilting is super basic ... just diagonal lines. But it works well.

So it may not be the most original or 'funky' quilt... but it's cozy and big enough to stay last through toddler-hood (40"ish by almost 60"ish). So I really hope he will like it!

Edited to add...

The shower was today, and the mom really liked it. She got a lot of awesome stuff... a lot of practical stuff that people who actually have babies know to give and plenty of 'aw cute' stuff. I felt pretty good about giving the only quilt. She also got a cute knit hat, mittens & matching blanket set from a mother/daughter knitting duo. But that was the only handmade stuff she got. That makes it nice for me... no other quilts to be compared against. ;)

In theory I get to start working on quilts for me now. Except that another friend just announced that she's pregnant. So there will be more baby quilts in my future. Oh well... keeps me busy.

Painfully ugly quilting

2010-03-01T20:04:00.007-08:00

Ok... I finished up the Valorie Wells quilt. I thought quilting would help improve my feelings for it... but no, it actually made me even less fond of it.

I tried to do concentric squares around the boxes... but MAN it was a pain in the butt. My least favorite part of quilting is trying to shove half the blanket through the neck of the sewing machine while quilting it.... this one was brutal, every time I had to change directions the better part of the quilt had to get rolled up to go through the machine. The results are disappointing for the amount of work that went into it. It clearly needs more quilting - just to hold it all together, but there's no way I'm doing more squares.

I'm also not thrilled with the embroidery... again, it needs more. I mean... it's a nice touch, I don't think this part is ugly... but it didn't come out quite as well as I'd hoped.

I'm going to treat this quilt as a learning experience. For me at least I need to have a quilt in mind before buying the fabric. As much as I love some of the fabrics, they never really told me what they wanted to be. Or maybe they were trying to tell me something and I just couldn't hear it. It's also possible that I just needed to let them all sit and stew a lot longer. But I'm an impatient quilter. I want the finished quilt NOW. The other thing I've learned is that long straight lines are much easier to quilt than trying to do smaller, unconnected shapes.

I'm glad it's done. It's a good size, it's nice and warm. It'll do just fine. I'm eager to start making myself quilts I really love though.

Home sweet... uh...

2010-02-27T08:44:00.008-08:00

I'm all moved in to my new apartment. There's no subtle way to say it... the place is ugly, like *spectacularly* ugly. But it's within my budget, in an awesome part of town, and didn't take too long to find. Considering I've been traveling / freeloading since OCTOBER* I was just not willing to spend a lot of time looking for something better.

I have a couple decorating ideas... and would love to get ideas from everyone else - so just consider these the 'before' shots.

Here's the living room. Items of note - mottled brown carpet , and shag-o-riffic fake fireplace. Can't take it down because the bottom part is actually the heater for the room. But I at least got rid of the plastic log.

(Mrs. J shown for scale. ;) Thanks for helping me move!!!)

The entryway of many portals:I really don't like that I need to close the front door before I can open the hall closet door, but I"m getting used to it.

That 70s kitchen:
Mustard yellow appliances that are quite possibly older than I am. It's impressive really that they're still working. In fact my landlord said that the only way they'll get replaced is if they stop working. So if you have any ideas..... ;)

The bathroom has a case of multiple personality disorder I think. There's pale pink tile in the shower... the floor is an off white linoleum, and around the sink is a grey/blue "marble". It's big though, which is nice. Considering my bathroom in Thailand had a resident bird's nest & occasional cockroach invasions... this will be a huge improvement.

There's a linen closet next to the bathroom which may end up being my craft closet... not sure yet. There's no shortage of closet space here which is nice. In fact there are two closets in the bedroom.

Not quite sure why one has a mirror and the other doesn't... perhaps another case of split-personality. You'll note that the carpet stays true through the whole place.... well that's comforting I guess. ;)

And in case anyone was wondering... this picture represents about 1/3 of my personal possessions. I had some crafty stuff stored at Castle5000 and some clothes, books & sentimental stuff at another friend's house.

You'll note... NO furniture... nope, none. That situation is slowly but surely getting sorted out with the help of some very generous friends and my credit card. I'm not thrilled about the fact that I'm back in debt after working so hard to be debt free. But I'm just not willing to sleep on the floor for the next six months.

*I've stayed in approximately 18 different places (more if you count spending the night on buses/trains/planes) since moving out of my apartment in Rayong. I am about ready to BURN my luggage, but I can't until I get myself a dresser. =(

Baby baby baby

2010-02-20T00:46:00.001-08:00

A friend of mine recently adopted a little boy, she & her hubby had tried for quite a while to have a kid themselves before deciding to adopt. The process was unbelievably long and arduous... I believe they were looking into adoption before I left for Thailand, and they brought him home shortly after I got back. I'm absolutely thrilled for them and the little boy seems to be doing extremely well with them.

Well, naturally I dug into my stash and made a quilt. And since I wasn't quite sure how soon the shower would be... I kinda cranked this one out as fast as I could!

The pattern is "Blueberry Pie" from American Patchwork & Quilting magazine (June 2007) and is one that I've wanted to make for myself. It was easy and I really like the effect.

Obviously I made the baby quilt considerably smaller than the pattern... and I left off the flying geese blocks, frankly I don't think they fit with the rest of the pattern.

I just used some straight line quilting to echo the light diamonds. The thing I love about making baby quilts is that they are so small and so quick. Although this one is maybe a bit too small, since the boy is 20+ months... not a newborn. Oh well... I'm sure it's actually bigger than he is, and I cuddled under it on the couch... so it's usable. In fact I liked it so much that I had to embroider the little boy's name on it so I wouldn't keep it for myself. =P

But never fear... shortly after I finished this one I went out and purchased a bunch more batiks to make another one. =0

Progress!

2010-02-14T10:22:00.006-08:00

I haven't been posting much, but a lot has been going on lately both crafty and otherwise. Just to get everyone up to speed.

1. I GOT A JOB! It's not my dream job, but there are definitely some positives... like getting a paycheck, and in a few months - health insurance. It's just a front office job, and pays less than what I was making before... but it should be far less stressful too. I like my coworkers (actually worked with one of them before) and everyone seems really well organized and helpful. So that's a good thing.

2. I found an apartment! Again, it's not quite my dream apartment, but it's in an awesome location. I'll be walking distance from the grocery store, the mall, and the MAX train. There's also a bus stop directly in front of my apartment that will drop me off directly in front of my new job in less than 30 minutes. I'll get to move in next weekend. Then comes the fun, but expensive, part where I buy all new furniture etc.

So things are feeling a bit more stable and less terrifying, but it's still going to take some time to get well settled. Next up will be looking into grad-school programs.

In crafty-news, I have been quilting a lot and knitting a little bit. I finished the embroidery on my Funky Floral quilt.It's not super fancy, but this square was a bit boring compared to the other center squares, so at least this adds a little something. Oh, and obviously I've finished the top & have started quilting it. I did a few lines of 'stitch in the ditch', and am planning to echo the square frames with quilting. It's a bit of a pain to try to get the body of the quilt through my relatively small sewing machine... but it can be done.

There are a couple other projects in the works, and I'll post on those soon. I bought a cheap new camera to replace the one that got messed up in Vietnam... but I'm really unhappy with the quality... I guess you get what you pay for. Now that I have a job, I'm going to take the good camera in for repairs, so that hopefully you'll get pretty pictures soon!

This is how UFOs happen

2010-02-01T19:46:00.005-08:00

I decided to do a little embroidery on one of the blocks of the quilt I'm making. I sketched it out and did some basic back-stitching in a couple different colors. But it wasn't quite enough, so I decided to add a bit of this and that... and to do an outline in white. In looking for my white floss I found about four skeins of ecru and only half a skein of white. It occurred to me to go with the ecru, but no... I decided that only white would do.

And *naturally* it ran out about halfway through.

Back in the days of car-ownership this would have been no big deal, just drive out to a craft store and pick up some new floss. But now that I'm totally reliant on public transportation I've got to figure out a craft store along a bus route... which is tough because they're all out towards the suburbs. And even tougher on Sundays when the buses come about once every half hour. I went to a Fred Meyer nearby - they have yarn & some other crafty things but no floss. So yesterday I was out of luck. I was seriously tempted to just set the whole thing aside and start a new project... but I knew as soon as I did that I'd never remember to get floss and the top would languish for ages as a UFO.

Today I went on a near epic quest to find embroidery floss...and learned that the two likely shops downtown are closed on Monday. I continued on busing & walking through the dark and stormy night only to find that the yarn shop right down the street happens to carry a very small selection of embroidery floss. Success!

Now I just need to finish up the embroidery, finish sewing together the top, then figure out how I'm supposed to quilt this whole thing. Gah quilts always take about 10 times longer than I think they're going to.

In other news, I'm still working a temp job. It's so boring I kinda want to bash my skull in more often than not, but the pay is decent. I went on about a million interviews last week... okay five... but it felt like more than that. I have another sit down tomorrow and I am really hoping that I get a job offer soon. I have about the sweetest situation I could imagine right now, but I won't feel right until I'm on my own two feet.

Rebel has an idea

2010-01-29T20:22:00.002-08:00

I have an idea. Not sure if it's a good idea, or a bad idea, or if it's a feasible idea at all. But the idea is there, a notion, an inkling. Stay tuned.

What was I thinking?

2010-01-26T18:53:00.006-08:00

Remember these?

Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. It all seemed like a good idea at the time. But now I realize this project started as a quilt-show impulse purchase and has just snowballed into a project that's just not in any decorating concept I've ever had for my home.

But... I'm itchin' to quilt and trying not to buy anything until my employment situation is well and truly sorted. So here I am....working on a quilt that is just waaaay too funky for me.

I've been thinking of making a quilt for my niece, so I may end up sending this one to her. But I'm not even sure if it's her kind of thing. So... we'll see.

I'm vowing to do a better job of stashing in the future. I'm going to get a clear concept of the kind of quilts I want in my home, and buy accordingly. No more impulse fabric purchases. Hold me to it!

Orange you glad

2010-01-17T16:46:00.005-08:00

Right before Christmas I had the good fortune to stay at Castle5000, home of fellow quilter Michael5000. In addition to having a roof over my head (woo hoo!), I was reunited with my quilts, fabrics & sewing machine (WOO HOO!!)

I pretty much immediately started quilting again. Immediately as in, I pulled out some strips I'd cut down from the scraps of previous projects, started sewing them together and didn't stop until I had a quilt top done. *

(forgive the crappy photography - just bought a cheapo camera to tide me over)

I'd wanted to do a Stacked Coins quilt for a while, and had sketched out the basics a while back in my quilt notebook. So I already had a pattern, most of the strips, and even a couple yards of the orange fabric that I'd picked up cheap at the Fabric Depot summer sale back in the day. Stashes are good! I love my stash! =) The only thing I had to buy new was the binding, I am waaaay too lazy to make binding myself.

The plan was to give this one as a gift for one of the many new babies in my world. But in my haste to make something fast, I made a several mistakes.... one would be okay, two... is pushing it but after three I didn't feel good about giving it as a gift anymore. Not gonna point the mistakes out to you, but trust me, they're there.

Here she is, I'm calling her "Orange You Glad" - Orange you glad to be home, orange you glad to be quilting again, orange you glad that you have a bright orange quilt to cuddle up in? And the answer is yes. Yes I am!

* Well, there were potty breaks. ;)

Twenty ten.

2010-01-03T11:23:00.002-08:00

When I was a kid I just kinda figured it'd be the 19somethings forever. I had a vague idea that I'd be around when the year 2000 came, It just didn't occur to me that the 2000s would keep going. Basic mathematical concepts have never been my friends.

Well, now that 2010 is here, it seems like some new resolutions are in order. What to do in 2010?

Career related goals:
1. My primary resolution is to find a job that I actually like. This will be a multi-phase goal, the first of which will be to find a JOB. But in order to keep from falling into a rut, I need to keep looking at job postings and applying for anything that looks more interesting that what I'm doing. Applying, or even going on an interview doesn't mean I'm going to take a particular job... but I need to keep looking until I find something spectacular.

2. Pursue a masters in teaching, with the goal of finding a job where I work with adults. Again, there are going to be a few parts to this, the first of which will be mostly information gathering... looking at different long-term career options and what it will take to get there. Once I figure out which program I want to get into, I will more than likely need to take some pre-reqs.

3. Learn Spanish...I've already seen a few interesting job postings that ask specifically for someone who is bilingual. I don't anticipate becoming bilinqual in a year... but if I don't start now I'll just be that much farther behind when I do start.

Social goal:
4. Spend more time and effort on real life relationships and activities. I love the internet, you know I do... but I think I pour too much of myself out into cyberspace and not enough of it into face-to-face relationships. I'm going to continue to go to knit-night and hopefully start bowling again, and make it a point to host something at my as yet undetermined home once a month or so.

Artistic / Craftistic goals:
5. Rebuild my stashes. I destashed quite a bit before I went to Thailand. It was good to weed out some stuff that I really wasn't going to use... but now I'm down to pretty bare bones. I have very specific goals for this stash building.
Knitting: Mostly buy yarn with specific gift projects in mind, for example something washable for a baby blanket, or enough pretty varigated wool for a hat / wrist warmers... that kind of thing.
Quilting: More batiks, more yellows and oranges, fewer calicos.

Hmm... I have quite a few more craft-related goals, so maybe I'll list those separately.

Hmmm..... twenty-ten. It'll be hard to beat 2009 in terms of 'adventure', but hopefully this will be a very good year for building & rebuilding my career, a home, relationships, my life!

The Job Hunt

2009-12-16T11:11:00.006-08:00

I've been back in the states for a solid month now... in Portland for a bit over two weeks. I haven't experienced too much 'reverse culture shock'. Mostly things seem comfortable and normal. While I was in Thailand it really felt like I'd been there over a year, but when I got back to Portland it felt as though I'd only been gone a little while. So at times I am shocked to see things that have changed. One of the grocery stores I used to frequent has gone upscale and I nearly made myself dizzy trying to place the old blue-print of the shop over the new design. It's been really great to meet up with friends again though.

The main thing occupying my time right now is looking for a job. I've signed up with (or tried to sign up with) about 4 different temp agencies, and as of this morning I've applied for 48 jobs. I'm pretty sure that's about four times more jobs than I've ever applied for in my life. Writing cover letters is killing me. It's tough to walk the line between confidence and arrogance when stating my skills (especially when I don't feel particularly confident in the first place)... and trying to manufacture enthusiasm for an admin job is no easy task. "Data entry thrills me to my soul and keeping files organized is my raison d'etre."

While I'd love to find a job with some kind of adult-education/training component there's not a lot of that out there so I've been applying for more general administrative or accounting jobs. The whole situation is just terrifying. In the past I've always been able to find a temp job within a couple of weeks and twice those have turned into long term positions... but I haven't gotten anything from the temp agency yet.

My next big task will be 'networking'. Whenever I read about networking I want to crawl under a rock and die. It's just so totally against my nature to call up random people and go talk to them. The examples given in all those advice articles just kill me (one guy walked up to the CEO of a company while the guy was eating breakfast and started talking about his strategy for the company's future), and they all seemed far more geared towards sales or marketing positions than general office work. I just couldn't imagine myself calling up the chair of a University department to discuss the formatting of his most recent grant application. But this seems to be the way one taps into the 'hidden job market' so I need to work on that. Anyone particularly good at this who wants to give me some advice??

Well, that's my exciting & adventurous life right now. I'm knitting again, which is good... but I knit too much the past few days and my hand hurts... which is bad. Gotta ease into these things I guess. Someday, when I have a job, and an income, and can get my camera fixed, I will take pictures of this terribly exciting 1x1 ribbed scarf, but until then...

Home! Sort of.

2009-11-30T12:18:00.005-08:00

I'm back in Portland and pretty excited to be back on familiar turf again. I am set up in a sweeeeeet apartment, the part time residence of a friend's parents. It's big, clean, stocked with the basics and situated next to a Trader Joe's and across from a Max station, so I can hop on the train pretty easily and get anywhere I need to go. The only down side is that there's no internet access there, but that's literally the *only* downside. I'm really feeling blessed that I have friends here who are so willing to help me out.

At the moment, I'm hanging out at the downtown library and pretending to look for jobs. No, actually I did apply for one, but I really need to quit procrastinating and channel my anxiety into this whole job hunting thing.

As my life is not likely to be particularly interesting for the next few months, I don't anticipate writing much more on this blog. I know I promised all kinds of posts about American food, and about the King of Thailand (who I am no longer forbidden to call a 'giant poopy head' if I so wish... I don't really wish to, but it's nice to have the option) but now that I have real live people to talk to, pouring my guts out online is not so much of a driving need. But who knows?

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T08:15:00.002-08:00

YUM!

2009-11-25T15:21:00.007-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays (the other being Independence Day), and I'm super excited to get to celebrate it in the US, and with a family I used to do Thanksgiving with back in college. It's not home, but it's the next best (or possibly better) thing. =)

And I'm baking! Despite my Sunset Breads cookbook being locked safely in a friend's basement, I decided to make challah. I summoned the gods of the internets (posted on a forum) and aquired the measurements for the ingredients & baking temp/time. I mean, I know how to make this bread...just wasn't sure of the numbers.

Then, last night as I was going through some of my old pictures I found this one:

And I cracked up, because even though I'm making onion bread (and presumably my roasted veggie-basil soup) in this picture, the cookbook is open to the challah page. =) And thanks to the obscenely high level of resolution on the camera I had at the time, I was actually able to enlarge it enough to read the recipe.

THIS! This, my friends, is why I support the photo-documentation of all cooking / baking endeavors. Because one day, you may be recently returned from overseas adventure, miles away from your favorite cookbook and need (yes NEED) to make your favorite dish.

At this moment I'm hanging out at Starbucks as my challah dough goes through it's first rise*. Let me tell you, I haven't mixed dough by hand in a good long time, and I miss Betty dearly. But I am extremely thankful for the strength in my arms, digital photography, the best laptop a girl could ask for, a well stocked kitchen, a loving (and endulgent) friend to stay with, and a 100% American Thanksgiving meal in my forseeable future!

I am also thankful for all my cyber-friends who have supported me this past year (or longer!), and wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving filled with both kinds of stuffing & plenty of gravy on top. =)

*well, I decided to start it with a sponge this morning which I let rise as I showered / got ready, but this is it's first *official* rise with all the proper ingredients mixed in. I'm not sure this recipe is meant to be started with a sponge, so encorporating the eggs, oil & remaining flour was a bit tricky.... and sticky.... and very very messy!

**Edited to add a picture of the little challah I made. This was consumed in about 4.7 seconds by the two of us. This was like a sacrificial challah to keep us away from the big challah I made for tomorrow. =P

I'm not dead.

2009-11-21T11:12:00.006-08:00

I'm still in the Bay Area but will be heading up to Salem tonight. My social life has experienced something of an explosion while here. I met up with Bobby who is living in SF now - we went on an epic quest to find this particular Mexican restaurant but alas, it was closed. But we had Indian food instead and it was yummy. I also met up with two friends from High School and had fun drinking a few beers with them... since we were all such good kids and never drank together back in the day. Mostly I've been hanging out in J's apartment, eating cheese and looking for jobs on craigslist. No responses yet... cross your fingers.

One thing I was able to accomplish here was to recover pictures from my camera's corrupted memory card. Yay! So here are pictures of Vietnam:

I met up with Jonathan & we went for beers at 'beer corner'.
Then to a cafe in downtown. Look ma - I'm in a communist country!

How to cross the street in Hanoi: close your eyes, start walking and hope for the best.

I went to the Temple of Literature which was surprisingly peaceful. I was expecting books.There were no books.

Jonathan took me to a concert at the Opera House which was fabulous, and to Indian food, which was... architecturally inspiring. Ha Long Bay was beautiful.

"Beautiful" and "Enjoyable" are different.

So yeah, I'm heading up to Salem now for Thanksgiving. I'm pretty sure that I've gained back about 10 lbs this week. J. keeps telling me I was standing on the scale wrong the first day I weighed myself, but I think she's just being kind. At this rate I'll be back to pre-Thailand weight by the time I get back to Portland. Which is not too terrible, because then at least all my warm clothes will fit. =P

Safe & Sound in SF

2009-11-12T18:09:00.006-08:00

I'm here in San Francisco, my flights were long but uneventful... and unsleepful. I'm really happy to see J again and am happily installed on the futon in her living room. The fridge is stocked with cheeses & Dr. Pepper. There are about a dozen different magazines in various stages of cheesiness on the coffee table. There's CARPETING! So far I haven't really experienced any reverse culture shock... just a sense of "Yes! This is how things are supposed to be!" you know, like you're supposed to be able to walk on sidewalks and not have to walk in the street to avoid the street vendors / welders / rats / etc. on the sidewalk. The cross-walks crack me up... we actually stopped at a 'don't walk' sign with only about one moving car in sight.

It's COLD. Well, cool - about 54F when we landed... but walking home from the BART stop I needed to zip my jacket... then a few blocks later I had to pull one of my pashminas out of my bag to wrap up in. We walked a good half mile and I DIDN'T SWEAT! That was refreshing. When J went to work I took a good long nap - under about three blankets. Her apartment is really cozy, and I'm enjoying that tremendously.

Tomorrow I start with the job hunting... wish me luck!

Last night in Bangkok

2009-11-11T02:40:00.004-08:00

I'm trying to think of some profound closing thoughts.. .but it just isn't happening.

I stayed in Ban Phe for a couple days, got my things, closed out my bank account, mailed yet another package back to the states, and even had a bit of time on the beach. Now I'm in Bangkok... did a little last minute souvenir shopping (because I really needed more scarves??) and have just been chilling out. I walked around China Town today, all through some narrow market streets, but honestly I'm all market-ed out.

Marie is living in Bangkok now, going to University, so I'll get dinner with her tonight. Then I need to get up at o'dark thirty for what looks like a 2 hour flight to San Francisco. We take off at 6am local time on Thursday 11/12/09 , and land at 8am local time on Thursday 11/12/09. Somehow I think it's going to feel like a bit more than 2 hours. =P

It's all just beyond surreal that this long strange trip is ending. It'll be tough to get back to my 'normal' life again.

The Final Stretch

2009-11-05T05:12:00.007-08:00

It's hard to believe but I've got just under a week left in Thailand before I return to the States.

Coming to Ko Phangan was a good idea, it's touristy in the extreme, but it's relaxing. The Full Moon Party was good - tons and tons of people, crowds from one end of the beach to the other. It was reportedly one of the mellower ones of the year - which was fine with me. I hung out with some Irish boys and chatted with folks from all over the world. Very fun indeed.

Then there were a couple days of stormy weather though, so I didn't get to spend as much time on the beach as I would have liked. Walked out to watch the waves for a while when the rain stopped though. It was quite spectacular ... but the wind was really strong and the waves were coming all the way up to the row of shops lining the beach so I couldn't really stay out for long.

The weather got better this afternoon, the sun came out for a couple hours and people were actually able to go out swimming. The waves were impressive - for Thailand - it almost reminded me of swimming in NJ and NC. A few folks tried surfing with limited success... the waves weren't *that* big. But they were big enough to smack you around a bit if you didn't watch them.

I'd like to stay a few more days but am feeling a bit antsy to get my stuff all sorted, close out my bank account and all that. Tomorrow night I'll be on the bus, the next I'll be in Bangkok... then I hope to make one more trip to Ko Samet before heading back to Bangkok... then HOME.

It's going to take a long time to wrap my brain around this whole experience and get back to normal life.

TAG: Code Sweet Chili Sauce

Ha Long Bay

2009-11-01T20:06:00.006-08:00

Ha Long Bay is a world heritage sight and arguably one of the most beautiful places on earth. It would be difficult to fuck up a simple cruise out to the bay to see them. The tour group I chose managed to do so in an amazing number of ways.

I booked the tour at Sinh Cafe Travel one of the major travel agencies in Hanoi. I would recommend that you never step foot into the agency and certainly NEVER book a tour with them. Let me repeat... if you are in Vietnam DO NOT EVER BOOK ANYTHING WITH SINH CAFE TRAVEL!!! There were a number of different options offered - a two day one night cruise, a three day two night cruise and an open ended cruise which allowed you to stay on Cat Ba island for a while. There were also three levels of cruises, budget, luxury and superior. I went with the mid-level luxury hoping that I would get what I paid for... a slightly nicer boat and food. Gah... I was sooo mistaken, so very mistaken.

The travel agent told me I'd be picked up at 7:30am but my ride didn't arrive until nearly 8am leaving me waiting on the side of the road inhaling exhaust fumes and having my eardrums assaulted by the never ceasing honking of Hanoi. He drove me to a different branch of the travel agency and had me wait for the van that would pick us all up. Here I was told to leave one of my bags for safe-keeping because there wouldn't be room on the boat for too much luggage. Fine, okay, no problem.

Considering the travel agent had told me "There's already a group formed for tomorrow's cruise, so you can join them." I had assumed that the folks on the van were all on the same cruise. But no, once we got to the docks, the guide started dividing up people based on whether they were going on the one day or two day tour.... having to ask *us* which packaged we'd chosen because he didn't have a clue.

THEN HE WENT TO BUY TICKETS TO THE BAY!!!!! Somehow this ever so minor REQUIREMENT was something they decide to leave until everyone's at the dock ready to go. A group of four of us, an English couple, a 40 something Swedish man, and I were left sitting around for the better part of an hour while our guide got the tickets and sorted out the other groups. Fine fine fine... I've been in Asia long enough to be used to waiting around for things. I had a book - no problem.

Finally the four of us board a boat - which is not entirely dissimilar to the boat in the advertisement except that rather than it being "a new boat" as we were all told, it was at least a decade old and not at all well maintained. The varnish was completely gone from the stairs & banister and the floor threatened splinters and upturned nails to those who neglected to wear their flip flops the whole time.

We joined a group already in progress - four retirees from America. They'd been on the three day, two night cruise, and on day two of their cruise rather than say... cruising around the bay, they were brought back to the harbor made to wait for an hour or two then rapidly made to switch boats when a large group of Japanese tourists showed up. Way to treat a person like a valued customer! =(

The bay itself was gorgeous, amazing, beautiful, etc... and I wish I had the pictures to show you... but honestly even the amazing beauty of the surroundings were overshadowed by the incompetence of the tour organizers.

The first stop was a cave, and since the retirees had visited the cave the day before they were made to wait in the boat while the new group of us went and spelunked for a while. It was actually quite cool, all lit up with colored lights and satisfyingly spooky. Were it not for our tour guide's insistence on absolutely butchering the English language while retelling several legends about the dragons of the cave, I might have enjoyed it.

"The pissermen were pissing in the bay." "Pissing???" "Yeah, yeah... the pissermen, you know catching pish." "Oh FISHERMEN?" "Yeah, yeah, pissermen. The pissermen." and on and on. I was basically the only one who could understand him and occasionally had to translate to the others in our group when they couldn't make heads or tails of what he was saying. To make up for his poor English he made sure to repeat each sentence about five times to make sure we all understood him. Now, I'm more than willing to listen to a student struggling with his pronunciation but if I'm paying for an English guide, it would be nice if he actually spoke English, or at least didn't pretend he could and let us wander around in peace. Finally he did leave us to explore another cave on our own if we wanted to. I wasn't in the mood for more climbing so I sat on a bench to wait for them, the Swedish guy got himself a beer and we sat and chatted for a bit.

Back on the boat I went up to the top deck to chat with the retirees. As we were pulling away from the docks I noticed that the young couple I'd been chatting with were on the boat beside us. "Are you supposed to be on that boat?" I asked them. "Yeah, the guide told us we had to switch to this boat for the rest of the tour." Um... ok... bye. The retirees told us (the Swedish guy and I) that the same thing had happened to them the day before, they'd been with one group and those folks left in the evening only to be replaced with us in the morning. And sure enough, down in the dining area there was a new, even younger couple from New Zealand waiting to join our group.

Up till this point we'd not been allowed into our cabins, despite having asked to see the rooms & put our stuff away. But now that we were well out to sea, the guide started handing out room keys. He handed a key to one of the retirees and said "This is for you and... " and pointed to the woman's husband. She joked with him "But I wanted to stay with my boyfriend!" And the guide joked that he'd see if he could find someone for her. He handed the other keys to the other couples and then he handed me mine. "This is for your room with him." he said motioning to the Swedish man (who was on his third beer by my count.) At first I thought the guide was joking... but he was serious.

"No." I said firmly. "We're not together... only one person." To this he laughed in my face and said "Yes, yes, together." "That's not okay." I replied.... "Yes, you booked a shared room" was his answer. Now... I had, in the travel agency, asked for a single room saying that I would pay the extra $10 since I was alone... but the woman told me "No, no, sharing is better." and I consented. Never EVER would it have occurred to me that I would have to specify that I was okay sharing a room with another WOMAN, but not a man I didn't know.

I didn't want to make a scene, nor to offend the Swedish guy who by all accounts was a decent guy, so I decided to suck it up. But for the love of Pete! In which country is it okay to assign a single woman to room with a man she'd never met????

The sudden forced intimacy of being roommates DRAMATICALLY changed my feelings towards the Swedish guy. Before we were joking around and almost flirting... but that was when I thought I'd be going to my own room at the end of the night. I didn't want there to be any confusion about the fact that we were JUST roommates. I decided to spend the rest of the evening chatting with the retirees, reading my book, and staying STONE COLD SOBER. The Swedish guy, on the other hand had switched from beer to whiskey and offered me one. I politely declined.

Back up on the deck and preparing for a nice mellow night under the stars I saw (and heard) another boat pulling up beside us. It was a group of completely plastered 20 somethings - mostly Canadian but with an Irish lassy leading the charge. They were hollering hello and shouting greetings to the retirees on the deck below. One of the guys actually climbed from their top deck to ours and announced "You're being invaded!"

Surely not. No... absolutely not, they are clearly mistaken.

Oh no... apparently these were the folks who'd been cruising with the retirees the day before, back to rejoin their original group. Are you keeping track? Personally I'd had enough of this giant game of musical tour groups and as soon as dinner was over I went to my .... sorry OUR room to read for the rest of the evening. I was in bed, covers up to my neck and book in hand when my roommate came in to unpack his stuff. He kept up a steady stream of conversation despite my attention being clearly focused on my book... and at one point said something like "I was surprised you were arguing with the guy about sharing a room with me - I thought - what kind of guy does she think I am?" He'd mentioned earlier that he had a daughter, so I asked him "Would you let your daughter share a room with a man she'd never met before?" before I'd even finished my question he was saying "Hell NO!" He assured me I was safe with him.... and then offered me some whiskey before pouring more of it into his beer can. "Um... no thank you."

I actually did sleep relatively well, waking only when my roommate came in to go to bed and then when our alarms went off in the morning. Rather than getting to sleep in we were instructed that breakfast would be at 7am and if we missed it, too bad, there would be no more food until lunch time back in the harbor. Tell me can you feel the love?

Day two was more of the same, we paid extra money to get into a tiny boat to see a particularly interesting karsts and to go swimming inside it. But once in the tiny boat we weren't allowed to go swimming and in fact spent all of five minutes exploring it before getting back on the boat. Shortly after this excursion both the Swedish guy and the retirees boarded yet a different boat and I was left with the New Zealand couple and the pirates I had not spoken one word to the night before.

We headed back to the harbor on exactly the same route we'd taken to get out there, seeing the exact same sights we'd seen on day one... only this time much slower. Back at the docks we had to wait for a good hour before a bus came to take us to lunch. Then after lunch we had to wait again to get on a different bus back to Hanoi. It was all of 24 hours after my tour had started and I was the ONLY person left from the original group.

As we got into the city, the tour guide asked us where we'd each been staying so he could drop us off. I told him I wasn't going back to my friend's house (where I'd been picked up), that I needed to go back to the travel agency where we'd started so that I could pick up my bag and get a ticket for the 6pm bus to Hoi An. The agent had originally said we'd be back to Hanoi by 4:30, but it was rapidly approaching 5pm and we weren't even at the center of town yet.

At one stop near the lake he let off a couple in front of their guest house and then motioned for me to get off the bus too. I reiterated that I needed to be dropped off at the travel agency where we'd started.

"It's over there." he said pointing across the intersection and motioning that it was just down the street.
"Where??"
"Just there" he pointed again and I saw what looked like a travel agency.
"Can I have my receipt so I can get my bag back?"
"No - gave it to the company already."
"Um... ok, but how will they know it's me?"
He jotted a number down on my hand and hurried me on my way. I wandered off to attempt suicide by way of crossing the two streets.

I walked into the Sing Cafe Travel agency - I didn't think it was the same one I'd been to before - but they all look the same. "I went on a tour of Ha Long Bay today - do you have my bag?" I asked.

The guy looked at me like I was crazy. Gah! It wasn't the same place. "This morning, I took a tour and I left my bags at the travel agency - is it here?"
"No." He said plainly, and clearly not particularly interested in my dilemma.

And then I flipped out. The tour guide was gone, I was in the middle of Hanoi, intending to catch a bus within the hour and had no idea where my bag was. I saw the couple from New Zealand walking down the street and caught up with them. They were as supportive as they could be, pointing me down a street that had the agency where they'd booked their tickets. I related my story to her and she was mildly sympathetic but not at all helpful.

"Where did you buy the ticket?" She asked.
"I'm not sure - they all look the same. Can't you call the other branches to see who has my bag??"
"There are hundreds."
I showed her the number that the guide had scribbled on my hand but it meant nothing to her. It didn't seem to matter that I was asking her point blank to help me. It wasn't her problem.

I stormed out of the shop and at this point I just lost it and wandered through the traffic, the honking and the vendors shoving things in my face "Buy something madam?" in tears. I could not take it anymore. Finally I found a familiar street and located the agency where I'd originally booked my tour. I was hysterical when I entered the shop but took a second to try to pull myself together enough to speak.

"What is the problem?!" One of the guys fairly shouted at me.
I relayed the situation as clearly as I could, mostly that I needed my bag back... but also that it had been a completely shit tour - the drunk Swedish man for a roommate, the constant changing of passengers, getting dropped off in the middle of Hanoi with nothing but a number scribbled on my hand to guide me. I was done, and it pissed me off that I couldn't even really let into them because I knew they didn't understand half of what I was saying anyway. Eventually the agent got on the phone with someone and seemed to have located my bag. "Don't worry." "No problem." they kept telling me (forget "I'm sorry" or "That's terrible." - those words apparently haven't made it into their vocabulary). "It IS a problem! This is NOT okay!!!" I told them.

Eventually the guy who'd picked me up the morning before showed up on a motorbike with my bag. I reamed him out (in slow basic English) and told him I wanted a refund for the tour because it was so crap. He put me on the back of his motorbike and we headed out - I thought back to the office to give me my refund. "We go back to your friend?" he asked. "NO!" (You fucking moron!!!) I shouted... and wanted to shout. I was done done DONE with Vietnam. I got off the motorbike, and headed back to the main tourist information office (not the shitty little shop-front agencies - the expensive one). I walked up to travel agent and asked for the first flight to Bangkok.

It was, unfortunately, too late to go anywhere that night, so I booked a room in a mid-range hotel nearby, and spent the in an air-conditioned room watching some old movie about a mummy. The next morning I got up at 6am to the soundtrack of Hanoi, honking horns, yelling vendors and an occasional rooster crow. But soon enough I was on a flight 'home' to Thailand.

I can't even tell you how relieved I was when I stepped out of the airport. There were tons of cars and taxis outside the airport.... and no one was honking. They were just stopping and going and ... more or less... staying in their lanes. On the bus ride to backpacker-ville (Khao San Road) I was amazed at how peaceful and orderly Bangkok traffic was, and how much cleaner the air seemed. It could have been Portland for the difference from Hanoi.

I considered staying in Bangkok for a night, but I realized that if I hustled, I could get down to Ko Phangan in time for the famous Full Moon Party. And so I did. I booked an overnight bus / boat combo ticket and spent the next 18 hours in transit.

Everything is fine now. Despite not having a reservation, I was able to find a nice fan room (at Bongo Bungalow) walking distance from the beach where the party will be. It's far enough away to be relatively quiet, and it was only 400 baht/night. It even has hot water & a flushing toilet. Paradise as far as I'm concerned. I got a nice long night's sleep, and ate breakfast while watching several episodes of The Simpsons in the restaurant. Yeah - it's tourist mecca, but I don't care. I'm done with adventuring and fully intend to spend my last week or so in Thailand parked on a beach with a frosty beverage in hand.

Speaking of which... it's nearly noon and I'm still sober. I will be rectifying that shortly. I don't intend to do anything interesting (well aside from the Full Moon Party).... and have no camera to share pictures, so if I don't post for a while... don't worry, I'm happy.

Hanoi

2009-10-31T00:29:00.005-07:00

Day one Hanoi:
I'd decided to fly into Hanoi, and had arranged with my guesthouse to be picked up at the airport. This did not happen, and I should have taken a clue. Instead I took a taxi ($15 US - not cheap!) into town. I checked into my guest house where they charged me $20 instead of the $12 that was listed on the website. I got settled then went out for something to eat. My first impression of Hanoi was one of sheer chaos and noise. I've been in Asia long enough not to be phased by sidewalk vendors or crazy traffic, but the street activity of Hanoi was well beyond anything else I'd encountered. The cars and motorbikes never stop and they never stop honking. Crossing the street is an act of ultimate faith... you just step out in the street and pray to whatever god you believe in that the traffic will swerve around you as you *very* slowly and steadily walk across.

I had some Pho... but I just don't like it. I've had noodle soup in Thailand but it tastes different. Whatever the secret ingredient is (anise?), to me it smells/tastes like body odor or dog or something unpalatable that I can't quite put my finger on.

Later I met up with Jonathan who is unquestionably the nicest man I've met in SE Asia. He walked me through the Old Quarter, where we had a beer. We then walked down to the beautiful lake Hoan Kiem. He guided me skillfully across many scary streets, for which I probably owe him my life.

Hanoi Day 2
On Day two I went to the Temple of Literature, and took many wonderful pictures of stone tablets and Vietnamese architecture. I attempted to do the Lonely Planet walking tour of Hanoi but simply could not get over the constant honking of the 47 million cars & motorbikes in the city. They're all just honking to say "I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here." but with the most ear-splitting and annoying horns and it DOESN'T EVER STOP! So I took refuge in the KFC and actually met up with a nice Belgian man and chatted with him for a while.

That night Jonathan took me to a Vietnamese restaurant where we had some kind of pancakey type thing... there were pickled root veggies and a basket of greens and all kinds of goodies to stuff inside a rice-paper wrapper. Very yummy.

Hanoi Day 3
I'd neglected to book my Ha Long Bay cruise the day before so that is what I did this day... I spent a great deal of time hanging out near the ticket counter for the Water Puppet Show but never did get tickets.

But that night, we had an absolutely amazing Indian food dinner. It involved a huge dosa (pancake type thing) that was rolled up like a dunce cap in a manner that made it both dinner & centerpiece.

A friend of Jonathans got us tickets to a concert at the opera house. We weren't quite sure what it would be, but I was pretty sure that if it was happening in the opera house I'd enjoy it. It turned out to be a joint Vietnamese and Brazillian concert of woodwinds and piano. As we stood on the steps watching visiting dignitaries from several countries drive up in their flag-adorned limos, we realized we might be a *tad* underdressed, Jonathan in his jeans and me in my capri pants. Oh well. The concert was LOVELY.

So while I wasn't exactly fond of Hanoi... the first three days were actually pretty good. It was fun to meet in real life, someone I'd been blog-stalking for ages. But the noise, the pollution and the crazy traffic were really wearing me down... I was eager to head out for Ha Long Bay for some peace and quiet in one of the most beautiful places on earth.

I hate everything!

2009-10-31T00:12:00.006-07:00

Ok... as if I hadn't had a horrid enough time in Vietnam, somewhere in my promiscuous computer usage I picked up a virus on my camera's memory card. I tried to open it to upload some pictures and after trying several options to delete/repair/quarantine the offending file to no avail I managed to delete the entire card. I'm pissed because there wasn't even ONE window that popped up to say "Do you really want to wipe out your entire memory card?" and from everything I could see it looked like I was only deleting the offending file. My travels in two different countries completely wiped out GONE - with one (not even that retarded) mouse click. GAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok... so you'll have to put up with my blathering without even pretty pictures of Ha Long Bay to break it up.

Good Night Vietnam

2009-10-30T04:45:00.005-07:00

Despite rave reviews by pretty much everyone I know who's visited Vietnam, I've had a pretty crap time (with the exception of the time I spent with my host) and am ready to go. I'll be in Bangkok tomorrow and I'll spend a good week going through the details and uploading the pictures.

WTF was I thinking?

2009-10-24T20:32:00.011-07:00

I have to tell you that living abroad, and now traveling has so radically changed my perspectives on everything. I just don't make the same decisions or have the same opinions I used to have about what I would or wouldn't do. I'm taking far more risks than I ever imagined (some good - some not so good) and living well beyond my edge. I'm also traveling on a budget and during low season so there are times when I'd love to fly rather than take a bus or stay in a bustling resort with a lot of other tourists... it's just not always an option.

But sometimes, honesty, I just do stupid things.... like on Thursday. I wanted to do a trek or a tour or something while in Luang Prabang, but despite the number of tour agencies on the main street, there really weren't that many tours. Most of the tours involved Elephant riding and rafting or hiking... but as I'd already done that in Chiang Mai I was hoping for something different. I saw half day kayaking tours and half day waterfall treks and asked about them... but because it's low season most of them didn't have enough people signed up to actually do the activity... they wouldn't do it for just one person. Finally I saw a sign for a half day biking, half day kayaking and asked about it.

The travel agent (naturally) told me that the bike ride, although it was 15 kilometers, was easy and on flat ground. I imagined a nicely paved bike path beside the river. The we would stop at a waterfall, swim and have lunch before kayaking back down the river. We'd kayak for about three hours, but the water is flat calm and we'd be going downstream. What could be more lovely? A leisurely bike ride, a nice swim and then an afternoon spent drifting lazily down the river.

CLEARLY I was out of my mind when I signed up. And as soon as I walked away bothersome little thoughts like "I haven't actually ridden a bike since High School" an "I've never actually gone kayaking before." drifted through my mind along with a much simpler thought "Oh fuck."

The next morning I got up, had a solid breakfast and met up with the tour group. Two of the people who had signed up were sick, so it ended up being just me and an Australian gal. She was young, tall, and had the body of a marathon runner. I knew I was in the *wrong* tour group. But I went along with it... got on the bike, which although new, was instantly uncomfortable. I pedaled a bit around the street realized that indeed, it was just like riding a bike and I had not forgotten how. Onward!

We coasted down a gently sloping residential street which flattened out for a while. OK - this isn't all that bad, I thought. I'm uncomfortable, but I can do this. Then we turned a bend and promptly onto a dirt road.... a well rutted dirt road strewn with small rocks and pebbles. Hmmmm. Doubts started asserting themselves in my mind... but I kept going. Until the hill. It was not a spectacular hill, just a bit of an incline, but it took all my strength to power up it and just before the top I just gave out. I was out of breath, sweaty and my legs were dying.

"I can't do this." I told them. "This is not even a big hill, but I'm dying... I just can't do this."

"You can, the rest of the ride is just like this - no big hills, just a little up a little down - it's easy, go slowly." the guide reassured me.

"It's okay" the other woman said, getting off her bike "I'm a bit tired too... we can just walk for a bit."

I put a little too much faith in their comments, and although I knew I'd be sorry, I stuck with it. For THREE HOURS. The downhill parts were fun, and the flats were okay too... the seat was uncomfortable and the bike a bit too big for me... but those parts were okay. It was the hills... not big hills, just little slopes here and there that just KILLED me. Every time we went downhill I tried not to break too much and go down as fast as I could without losing control of the bike so I could get some momentum for the next hill. I got over a couple of them okay, powering through the tops in low gear. My legs were dying, but I am actually quite strong and managed to keep going for the next hour and a half. Yeah, we walked up some of the hills... I was always glad when I saw the other woman pull up in front of or beside me and get off her bike.

My heart was pounding and it always took me a good long time to catch my breath. I was afraid on a couple of occasions that every cheeseburger I'd ever eaten would finally catch up with me and give me the heart attack which is my due. We took a couple of breaks and drank as much water as I could without getting nauseous, but this was well beyond my endurance. Just past the halfway point I really started breaking down mentally. I tried the whole "I think I can, I think I can..." but I couldn't. I knew I was well out of my league. I'd done nothing in the way of formal exercise in a few years... my only physical activity in Thailand was walking around and swimming a bit on the weekends. I was in no kind of shape for 3 hours off-roading on a mountain bike. At one point I very nearly broke into tears at the sight of yet another incline. I got off and somehow put one tired foot in front of the other and got to the top of the hill. Honestly I thought I was going to die.

Unfortunately, I was so preoccupied with trying not to die, or cry in front of everyone, that I neglected to take pictures. And this really is a sin because 1. I would love photographic proof that I did in fact ride a mountain bike on a dirt road in Laos. and 2. There was some spectacular scenery. Again, we were riding through the jungle, and occasionally caught views of the Nam Khan river. Every once in a while we'd ride past a little village with bamboo houses and local people hanging out... the kids would wave at us and yell "Sabaidee" (Hello). And there were hills and limestone karsts in the distance. Periodically there would be some water buffalo standing in the road, or grazing just a few feet away. There never seemed to be a herder nearby, they were just wandering. Fortunately they're quite lazy creatures and made no attempt to move as we came by, because they are BIG and have HORNS and would not be fun to accidentally crash into as they tried to cross the road.

And then we were there. It was over, I'd ridden 15 kilometers, over the course of about 3 hours in the tropical sun, and somehow was still standing. But waiting for us were the kayaks and I knew that rather than get to collapse in bed for the next 10 days like I wanted to, I had another 3 hours of exercise ahead of me. I very nearly broke down into tears and asked to be taken home on the songthaew with the bikes. I couldn't even look at anyone, I just walked to the other side of the van and chugged the better part of a bottle of water and tried to pull myself together.

The guide assured me that the biking was the hard part, kayaking would be easy. We'd kayak for five minutes to the waterfall, then have lunch and a good long break. I don't know why I didn't ask to go home with the bikes... I think I was just too embarrassed, didn't want to be a quitter. But the truth is... in this case, I never should have been a starter!

After not nearly enough rest we got into the kayaks and he showed us how to paddle. The water was flat calm, and it wasn't particularly challenging, but I was tired and it was an effort. The five minutes of paddling to get to the waterfalls was enough to tell me that I'd live to regret this whole effort. We pulled up to the other side of the river, then up up up I don't want to know how many painful stairs. Then there was the waterfall.

And it was amazing.

Stunning.

COLD!

But really really refreshing, it was exactly what I needed. I hopped in and swam around for a bit, it was icy cold and the force of the waves was pretty strong. Oh it felt so good, sooooo good. After a while we got out and had some lunch. For some reason I really wasn't hungry. I think it had to do with how hot it was and how much water I'd been drinking. I had a few bites of curry (one of the better meals that I've had on a package tour actually), an apple and MORE water, took one more dip in the water then we were off for stage two... kayaking.

The kayaking was in fact easier. Which is not to say it was easy, despite the predominantly flat water. We were still in near constant motion paddling and paddling down the river. Again, an hour would have been great - three hours was a *bit* much! And again, the scenery was amazing but i didn't get a single picture because my camera was in the dry bag in the back of the kayak. My arms were killing me after the first hour but we just kept going. I had to take several mini breaks just setting down the paddle and stretching my arms for a bit - I was glad I was in the back because the other gal took far fewer mini breaks. ;)

At one point we just completely stopped and drifted for a few minutes. This was wonderful. We'd been floating past little gardens and water buffalo relaxing in the water, here and there a local doing laundry or bathing and a few kids hanging in the trees over the river calling to us "Sabaidee, Sabaidee". For the few minutes we drifted it was so peaceful - the only sounds were crickets chirping, a bird tweeting and the low dull ca-lank ca-lank of a water buffalo's bell as he grazed by the river. The current of the river wasn't strong enough to carry us along too swiftly, it was just enough to spin us slowly around so we were drifting backwards past the little farm. Honestly, I could have drifted for a good hour of the trip. But eventually we put paddles to water again and kept going.

After about two hours, our guide rowed up to us and told us we were about to go through the rapids. Two class two rapids and one class three. Um... what was that now??? My arms were beyond tired, my muscles aching and my hands had begun to get sore. There was very little energy of any sort in my body... just kind of a brainless ability to keep going going going.

We were told to just keep the kayak as straight as possible, and we had already started to get the hang of maneuvering in the river so it wasn't too bad. We navigated the first set of rapids relatively well, we got spun around once, but got ourselves straightened out again and took each of the waves head on. It required a fair amount of coordination, and some fairly powerful digging into the waves as they tried to pull us sideways. We did NOT capsize... which is about as clear a sign of success as you can get.

There was a nice stretch of flat water before getting to the class threes so I tried to rest up my arms a bit. And again, we dug in hard, and managed to fight against the waves that wanted to turn us. At one point we were really being dragged to the right and we were furiously paddling to the left. There were a bunch of scrub bushes in the water and we were heading right for them, I actually got scratched by a few branches as we went past - then between two of the bushes we saw a water buffalo! OMG! We kicked it up and really had to paddle as hard as our exhausted arms could to avoid crashing into it. But again, we were pretty fuckin' amazing, and managed to slide right past him and get straightened out again.

Another rest and another set of smaller rapids (we were quite the experts at this point) and that was about it. Another fifteen minutes of flat water and he called us to the side. In our eagerness to get to the side we ran aground in a sandbar several meters short of the landing space and we were just about too tired to care, but the guide encouraged us, we got unstuck, allowed ourselves to drift down a bit then pulled in.

When we were finally done for the day I was about dead on my feet. I could not believe I'd accomplished as much as I had. That was a fairly intense day and I haven't done any serious exercise in years. The Aussie girl said we should feel proud of ourselves, but at the time all I wanted to do was collapse.

We decided to meet up for dinner later that evening (after our respective naps) at the Hive bar. It was a really cool place, expensive & swanky. We ordered veggie pizzas, and when they say veggie they mean veggie - carrots and green beans among the olives and peppers. And it was happy hour so we got a free Beer Laos. They also did a weird hill-tribe fashion show set to modern music. Cool clothes, but it was all just a bit surreal.

When the fashion show was over we got up and were about to leave when a couple from the boat showed up. I chatted with them for a bit and they said they were meeting up with a few more people from the boat. So we ordered another Beer Laos and got caught up with everything we'd been doing in Luang Prabang. Well fed, a bit rested, and with a couple of beers easing my sore muscles my perspective of the day improved dramatically and we started regaling everyone with tales of our adventure. When I mentioned that it we started with a 15 km. off road bike ride the Irish girl responded "Oh sweet Jesus!" which sums it up nicely. It was really great to meet up with everyone again, and we exchanged facebook info so we could keep in touch for the rest of our travels. Having people to chat with (and drink with) at the end of the day makes all the difference in the world!

Luang Prabang

2009-10-23T21:51:00.006-07:00

Luang Prabang is an old royal city, but also a French colonial town, so it has a different flavor from any of the cities I visited in Thailand. There is a difference in the architecture as many of the buildings are from the colonial period, and others are built in that style. Add in the fact that it's a stop on the tourist trail and you're left with a city which is a pretty balanced mix of East & West, stray dogs & temples, street markets & internet cafes.

I relaxed in the city the first day, just walking around and reading in cafes. I stopped in at a museum about the different ethnic minorities and learned a little about some of the local hill tribes. The exhibits were well done, and emphasized that the hill tribes are not frozen in time, but ever evolving through trade with each other and exposure to the modern world. They've modified some of their traditions while still holding onto their beliefs and ethnic identity. Much of this identity is expressed through clothing... and Ireally enjoyed inspecting the embroidery and embellishments on the different outfits.

After that I grabbed some lunch at the Morning Glory cafe. It was, without hesitation, the best chicken sandwich I have ever had. There was a warm baguette, sauteed chicken breast, letuce and cheese, but also an herbed mayonaise that was just delicious. I chased this down with a solid liter and a half of water in hopes of replacing the water I'd sweat out earlier in the day. It is HOT here!

I walked around a bit more, saw more temples... honestly, at this point, it's like walking past a Methodist church - they're everywhere here, and it's getting harder an harder for me to tell any two apart. I looked at the different tour options available. Again, it's low season so most of the tours advertised weren't actually going for lack of people. But finally I found a tour that sounded okay... and I'll tell you all about that tomorrow!

Laos!

2009-10-23T04:36:00.005-07:00

This is just a quick post to say that I am, in fact, in Laos! And actually have been for about three or four days now (one loses count) I have LOADS to post and have been trying to get all my words & pictures together but internet access is not quite as abundant nor as speedy as in Chiang Mai. Stay tuned! See below for posts from the 3 days it took to get here. =)

Journey from Thailand to Laos:
Day one - Minivan from Chiang Mai to Chiang Khong Thailand.
Day two - Slow boat from Chiang Khong to Pak Beng
Day three - Slow boat from Pak Beng to Luang Prabang

Slow Boat to Laos - Day three, Pak Beng to Luang Prabang

2009-10-21T07:58:00.005-07:00

Day three was the final step in my journey from Chiang Mai, Thailand to Luang Prabang, Laos.

I got up pretty early - thanks to some ungodly sounding roosters (I swear one of them sounded like a goat) and got some breakfast. Some of my fellow travelers were there already, so I just pulled up a chair. Again - it's nice to have someone to chat with over a meal.

on the deck overlooking the Mekong

Breakfast was AWESOME... even if nearly as expensive as the room (trying to mentally convert everything between baht, kip and dollars, this was not something I figured out until the next day). I had an omelet with cheese* (Laughing Cow) and a freshly baked, warm from the oven baguette. It was AMAZING. Oh it was delicious. And I was not the only one to mention it, as more people kept coming down we all kept recommending the omelets "It has CHEESE in it!" A nice hot cup of tea was the perfect touch as we sat on the terrace overlooking the misty Mekong we would soon be traveling down .... again!

The guesthouse as seen from the river.

I picked up another sandwich to go, and headed down to the docks. The boat was not the same one we'd taken on the first day.

Nope... it was smaller, and if possible even less comfortable. Again the cushions were a good investment, but just not enough. People were laying in the aisles, under benches, on the benches, on each other... just trying to eek out some comfort. I did okay managing to score a whole bench for myself (I'd saved it for someone from our group - but he decided to sit in on the floor in the back), so I can't complain too much.... well I can - it's damned uncomfortable... but at least I had more room with which to be uncomfortable than other folks had.

The scenery was more wild green jungle, more muddy river, more mists in the hills. Honestly, it's beautiful... but an hour or three is plenty. Two days is a bit much. But it did get quite spectacular as we got closer to Luang Prabang.

And then, right on schedule we were there.

I got split up from my travel group, but followed another couple from the boat and found a cheap guest house near the center of town. VERY basic and with a shared bathroom... but I'm telling you, my standards have gotten quite low here. I figure Laos will be where I try to save a bit of money and get back on budget. We'll see how that goes.

So, my final analysis? The slow boat from Thailand to Laos is not completely horrible. It's long and uncomfortable, but there's beer & you see a LOT of really amazing scenery. The thing is, you can see the best of it on a 2 hour slow boat tour from Luang Prabang to the Buddha cave. Sooooo.... I would suggest flying or taking a bus to Luang Prabang from where ever, then doing the tour. You'll have get a taste of the experience without having like DAYS of it. Unless you really do want to send a couple days on the Mekong - which really is quite an experience!

*Or, as written on the menu 'Sheese'

Slow Boat to Laos - Day Two Chiang Khong to Pak Beng

2009-10-20T03:53:00.001-07:00

On day two of the trip from Chiang Mai to Luang Prabang, we woke up bright and early (or cloudy and early, actually) to cross the river to Laos... which is not to be confused with "Laos" - wherever that "is".
This was my first view of Laos from the Thai side of the border. Not the most spectacular sight, but it was reassuring to see signs of civilization.

We crossed the Mekong on these tiny little ferry boats - they fit about 6 or 7 people each. Then we were ushered through the immigration process somewhat painlessly.

After the immigration office there was a LOT of nonsense, we had to have our passports checked by our guide and by various officials a few different times. I also had my temperature scanned to make sure I didn't have H1N1. That part was actually all fine... normal border crossing annoying, but fine. But then we kept getting packed up into minivans, driven like four blocks, told to wait, then packed up into different minivans, driven four more blocks then told to wait again. If you can imagine a group of maybe 12 people and all our assorted gear, this was not a minor undertaking.

While we were waiting for the final minivan to take us to the boats our guide gave us some "information" about Laos. It was like something off of Survivor. He told us that we'd been lied to by our Thai travel agents, that the first leg of the slow boat tour would not be 6 hours, but rather more like 8 or 9. We were told there would be NO FOOD on the boat (this point had also been stressed at the restaurant where we'd had dinner the night before so we'd all ordered sandwiches to go already). He told us that when we got to Pak Beng - the half way point and our overnight stopping point, that there would be schemers trying to take our bags or overcharge us for carrying them. He said that there was no electricity in Pak Beng and that 90% of the accommodations were 'not good'. "Your door has a key, but some person can just open it and take your things." The whole time, he's telling us "I just want to give you information - you can decide for yourself. In Laos some things are good, but some things are bad - I don't want you to have a bad experience and think that everything in Laos is bad. I want you to make up your own mind, so I give you all the information."

Naturally he started talking about the other options... there is a speed boat that will take us to Luang Prabang in about 6 hours, but it was very dangerous, very uncomfortable, very expensive. There's also the government bus which may or may not brake down, or... if you decide for yourself .... a mini van service that will get to Luang Prabang by midnight. He did say that the road was not completely paved, but that it was 90% good. After give us all the "information" he told us he would leave us alone to discuss what we wanted to do, and if some people decide they want to change - we could trade our tickets (with an added cost of course) for one of the other options. "I will leave you alone for five minutes, you can think it over."

I swear, it was like being told we had to vote someone off the island! The Irish gal (who was more or less on her own but had partnered up with a Canadian guy for travel purposes) immediately announced she wanted to take the minivan option... she was well and truly freaked out. There was another German woman who was traveling alone and she hadn't realized the slow boat would take two days, so she'd decided to take the minivan as well. Lion heart that I am, I was about pissing my pants with terror at *any* of the options.

But then I walked over to the other group of people and asked what they were going to do. An Aussie gal traveling with her boyfriend said "Well, why don't we just take the boat, and stick together when we get to Pak Beng - we'll get off the boat together, make sure we all have all our stuff, and stay in the same guest house." That, to me, was like the best thing anyone had ever said, and I was like "I'm sticking with her." Her boyfriend, during this discussion made the necessary (and to be oft repeated) comment - "Yeah, let's stick together, because at the end of the day - we're all in the same boat."

We talked to the other group and basically were like "Whatever you do, it's going to be okay, but if you're not comfortable taking the boat, don't" And ultimately the three of them decided not to. I have to say, it was really nice to have a group to latch onto at this point in my trip... but the anxieties that the guy provoked were not completely assuaged. Every time the boat stopped & turned around (to drop off mail or something) I felt nauseous until we were going in the right direction again.

The boat wasn't completely full, but there were quite a lot of us in a fairly small space for a looooooong time. The benches were uncomfortable even with the cushions we purchased from our guest house. There was a small snack bar on the boat, serving chips, cookies, water, sodas and beer. So the whole "NO FOOD" admonition wasn't quite true, but still I was glad to have a packed lunch & some water.

It absolutely helped to have some travel-buddies to chat with. We passed the time playing Yahtzee- my first time!

And of course, gazing at the scenery as we went by. This is a situation where the journey really is the experience. The point was not to get to Luang Prabang in the most efficient manner... it was to see Laos.

It is an amazingly country. The river is brown but the hills on either side are green and wild. There were a few isolated villages where locals gathered eagerly to pick up or drop off mail & cargo, but mostly it was mile after mile after mile of jungle. The only other time I'd been that surrounded by unspoiled nature was when I drove through Nevada...and frankly the desert in October wasn't much to look at.

It was cloudy and cool and rained on and off all day... but really this just added a little variety to the scenery. The mist in the hills is beautiful in it's own quiet way.

We pulled into Pak Beng after about 5 & a half hours - so just a little ahead of schedule as stated by the Thai travel agents... and well ahead of schedule as stated by the Laos guide. Our group did stick together, and got our bags from the back of the boat before we docked. One man did reach forward and offer to take my hand bag, but I said "No" firmly and he left me alone. There were guest-house touts aplenty at the dock, and this is always unsettling to me. But again, having a group there made all the difference. Someone else checked out a couple of the deals and decided on one. Rooms with fan & bathroom for 200 baht (CHEAP! ABOUT $6 US). We piled into his minivan and drove ... yes... about four blocks. To be fair, it was rainy and uphill, and none of that is fun in the rain, but it did seem a bit unnecessary. The rooms were basic but clean enough... and had electricity from about 6am - 11pm. My shower hose came out of the heater unit at one point... but I just stuck it back in and went on with things. And then there was a fairly good sized spider on the toilet, but I just asked one of the Australian guys to get it for me.

At the end of the day we had dinner & a few Beer Laos at the guest house restaurant.

We all complained about the Laos guide trying to scare us out of taking the slow boat (and succeeding in the case of the three who took the minivan), but we also agreed that having set our expectations so incredibly low, everything that actually happened seemed just great!

She's not flipping off the camera, she's showing off the bruise she got when her finger got slammed in the bathroom door - on the boat.

I turned in pretty early because the boat was leaving - with us or without us at 9 the next morning and I wanted to make sure I got some breakfast first. So day two... and my first day on the Mekong went just fine.

Slow Boat to Laos - Day one Chiang Mai to Chiang Khong

2009-10-19T07:30:00.002-07:00

I booked my trip to Laos from my guest house in Chiang Mai. I think pretty much every guest house and travel agent ends up sending people to the same tour group so it doesn't much matter where you book. There's a slow boat and a fast boat, but from what I'd read online, the slow boat is safer and more comfortable than the fast boat, although it's all relative I'm sure.

She told me it would be a three day affair:

Day one: Minivan to the Thai border city of Chiang Khong, guest house provided
Day two: Cross the river into Laos, where a guide would usher us through the visa process, then the slow boat would take 6 hours to get to Pak Beng where we would need to find our own place to spend the night.
Day three: Slow boat from Pak Beng to Luang Prabang.

There was an option to leave at night and arrive in Chiang Khong quite late, or leave at noon and get a full night's sleep there. Old lady that I am, I opted for the full night's sleep even if it did cost a bit more. The total trip cost.... 1,800 baht, including the minivan to the border, one night in a guesthouse and two days on the boat.

I had a late and leisurely breakfast at the cafe across from my guesthouse (rapturously delicious ham and cheese bagel sandwich btw) and then was ready to go. It was about a 4 hour minivan ride, but the driver stopped about once an hour for a good long time each stop. It was nice to get a break now and then... but it did seem a bit excessive. The rest stops were good too... lots of choices for food, little markets, decent toilets. One stop had Thailand's highest geyser.

Another stop had this amazing white temple. I don't know what it's called or what the story was... but it was cool!

Finally we rolled into Chiang Khong at about 5pm, dinner to be served at 6pm. The room was basic but clean enough, decent bathroom again. My tolerance has increased considerably from living here though, so opinions may vary. Dinner was free, and pretty good. Rice with curry, and stir fried veggies. I had a beer and introduced myself to my fellow travelers - another couple of minivans had arrived and we'd all be going to Laos together.

my first view of Laos from the Thai side of the Mekong

After dinner we walked across the street to a bar, had a few beers & played some pool. It was pretty low key - just comparing where on the backpacker's loop we'd been, where we were going, and what the heck we were doing here in the first place. It turns out that pretty much everyone was 'between jobs' in one way or another. It was nice to find travelers I could relate to. At one point I told the Irish woman "I'm on my own so I'm just going to latch onto you guys if that's okay." and she said, in the way that only an Irish woman could "Don't be ridiculous, a' course a' course! We're all just travelin'." Which made me feel loads better. =)

Old Lady Tour of Chiang Mai

2009-10-19T04:33:00.008-07:00

After my cooking course, but before the trekking, I decided to take a mini-tour of local hand-crafts. Mostly I wanted to see the silk production and weaving, but I was interested in seeing what else there was. Shortly after I booked the tour it occurred to me that this would end up being a glorified shopping trip - and I was right. I was the only one on this 'tour' so basically, it was just like hiring a taxi for the day.

The first stop was the silk factory and it really was interesting. They had trays of silkworms on leaves, and in each stage of their development.

Then they showed how they boil the cocoons to release the fibers. They pull the threads from the outside of about fifty different cocoons and start spinning it. After they have a suitable amount, the silk is washed & put into hanks (it was interesting to feel the difference between the rough unwashed silk fibers and the well, more silky washed thread). As you probably know, the silkworms are killed in the process, and they did show a pan of the dead silkworms. Personally...since they would have become moths and moths like to nibble holes in lovely wool sweaters, I'm not too sad about this.

After the thread is washed & dyed, it is spun onto bobbins.

Then the bobbins are used with the looms to weave the cloth. The patterns are created by elaborate machinations involving threading different colors onto the loom to start, then lifting some threads up and some down at different parts and shuttling different colored bobbins of thread through them. I would really like to learn how to actually do this since it's all a bit vague and theoretical in my mind.

After this I was set loose in the shop and spent a long time fondling silk scarves & shirts and in a near superhuman show of restraint, I did not actually buy anything. Mostly this was because earlier in the morning I'd just spent over $30 sending souvenirs home and was not eager to make another trip to the post office just yet.

The rest of the stops were about the same, a five minute talk about lacquer-ware, gem cutting, ceramics, whatever, then move on to the shop. There were a LOT of factories on the tour but I called an end to it after just a few more of them. I'd done more than enough shopping at the night markets, and wasn't in the mood to spend any more money. But all in all, it was a fairly cheap tour and I got to learn a little bit about this and that.... not a bad way to spend the day.

TAG: Code Watermelon

An afternoon of riparian entertainment

2009-10-18T03:58:00.012-07:00

The travel agency at my guest house (and actually the travel agencies on every corner here) offer several different treks... the one most hardy young backpackers go on is the three day two night trek through the jungle, risking dengue fever from the mosquitoes and hepatitis from the toilet situations to get close to the 'real Thailand'. I, however, have been living in the 'real Thailand' for a year now, so I decided to go on the wussy one day trek that the tour guide promised me involved no more than about an hour and a half of walking. Sounds good to me!

There were three other girls on the trek - they were all Korean yoga teachers in Chiang Mai to take a Thai massage course. They all spoke a bit of English, and one was pretty good.

The first stop was the elephant camp! First we fed them some bananas (20 baht a bunch) then we rode them around a pretty well worn and muddy path through the jungle. My elephant kept grabbing leaves and eating... or trying to eat. I'm guessing that only some of the leaves are actually edible.

It was an interesting perspective, and I tried to imagine being royalty riding up in a big throne, or riding one into battle. But I have a terrible imagination and all I could do was think 'this is kind of cool' and try to ignore my pangs of guilt about the ethics of elephant tours in Thailand.

Oh well... the scenery was amazing when we got to the clearing.

The woman sharing my elephant with me was really scared. As soon as our elephant started to move she put her hand on my leg. I reached over and held her hand, because god knows I know what it's like to be scared out here! Eventually she was comfortable enough to let go, but any time our elephant did anything even remotely weird (like climbing half way up an embankment to grab some bamboo, or wandering over to snack on some grass after our mahout had gotten off) she grabbed hold of me again.

After the elephant camp we went bamboo rafting. Our guide was quite adamant to point out that we WOULD get wet and that the river contained river water, not drinking water -100% not drinking water! Ok... we got it. What I could not get was pictures... with the whole being in a river and getting wet thing.

The rafts were basically 10 bamboo logs strapped together.... that's it! Once I sat down I was wet, and wet in the very particular way that made me look as though I'd peed my pants. Delightful! The water was cool and looked like watered down hot cocoa - made from a mix, not the real kind. Since it's the rainy season (it had rained in the morning) the river was full and satisfyingly tumultuous*. The river meandered around bends and under trees. We saw cows & even an elephant on the riverbank. Fortunately, I guess, we dipped and turned enough to get my pants thoroughly wet, so I could avoid any question about my bladder control.

In fact, after lunch my bladder was emptied in the appropriate, if horrifying location.

We visited a couple of hill tribe villages. Initially I didn't want to do anything like this... because I just don't know how I feel about treating actual families as a tourist attraction.... but it was part of the trek so I went. And being a tourist - I took pictures. The background sound was the quiet cheep-cheep of several dozen baby chicks, and the background smell... pig sty. There were a few little kids running up to us with bracelets "Hello, five baht...hello, five baht." I really don't know the right thing to do in this situation, I resorted to cheap apathy - didn't buy anything.

The rice fields were really beautiful. These are just for the hill tribe's consumption, not for sale.

We hiked** around the fields and through a jungly bit and made our way to a waterfall. Not the most spectacular waterfall I've ever seen, but quite respectable. It was loud enough to hear well before we could see it.

OK - I started writing up this post last night...and I'm just now uploading pictures... but every time I do so, blogger adds like a page of blank space between each paragraph! ARGH! And you know, I have to drag the photos down to where they should be (17 brazillian page lengths down because of all the extra spaces). It was a good trek and I'll post more about it later, but now I've just got to call it quits.

It's Monday morning, and in about half an hour (or like two hours factoring in "Thai time") I'm catching a mini-van to start my trip to Laos. I'm not sure when I'll get to post again, it's half a day in the van, then a two day boat trip. I don't know ... it seemed like a good idea when I was sitting at the travel agent's desk. I will of course update again as soon as I have internet access again.

Wish me luck!

TAG: Code Mango

*which is to say not at all turbulent, but occasionally reached a level of activity that could be described as 'rather splashy'.

** walked slowly on reasonably well maintained trails and/or dirt roads.

Cooking with gas!

2009-10-16T23:00:00.001-07:00

I'm starting to feel human again, getting over my cold and the crappy stuff that happened towards the end of my time in Rayong. So I decided to venture out and take a cooking course. It was a good decision.

There were five of us... a newlywed couple from Germany, a Canadian couple a year out of college and on their way to a year in New Zealand for a working holiday.... and you know, me... myself.... alone... khun deo. But really it was okay, the other couples were very friendly and we had fun chatting. It's kind of cool to be doing the travel bit after my year of working because when we get around to the whole "How long have you been in Thailand?" game, I always have the trump card.

And after a year of trying to fit into the Thai culture, it's fun to be a genuine tourist here. Since there are soooo many tourists here I have no problem whipping out my camera and snapping pictures of anything that's "weird."

For example, all kinds of random stuff at the market, where my cooking class started.

The instructor, "Miss Bitch" as her t-shirt proudly announced, told us a bit about the different Thai ingredients, then let us wander around while she did the actual shopping.

Back at the school we started on breakfast - for me Pad Thai. All the ingredients were set out for us, all we really had to do was mix this and that and do the stir-frying. It's definitely more for fun than for actually learning how to cook... but that was fine with me.

After Pad Thai came the appetizers, Spring Rolls for me, and Som Tam (papaya salad) for two of the other students.

Miss Bitch had quite an entertaining teaching technique: "Crush the garlic like your ex-lover", swirling the egg in the wok for the pad thai: "swirl the egg, swirl the egg, swirl your hips - sexy sexy sexy!" and admonishing the guys not to use the toilet after touching peppers to avoid getting chili willies "I cannot help you with that!" It was a routine, but it was still really funny.

Next I made Tom Yam Gung, a very popular sour coconut shrimp soup. It starts with coconut milk, lemon grass, chili paste, keffir lime leaves and... something else I've already forgotten. =( We only add the shrimp at the end, and don't stir because it makes it taste too fishy, according to Miss Bitch.

For the main course I learned to make both stir fried chicken with cashew nuts and yellow curry. Although she demonstrated making the curry paste from scratch with a mortar and pestle ("now treat it like your new lover - harder! faster! harder! faster!") she told us that even most Thai families buy their curry paste at the market...it's cheaper than buying the ingredients separately.

Both of these dishes were absolutely delicious, and I cannot wait to try them at home. After each dish we stopped and ate, and napped.... it was a LOT of food for one day.

And when we were more bloated than could possibly be imagined, we made dessert! I chose mango with sticky rice, which I think could be well adapted to peaches depending on your climate.

Yum!

I started feeling relatively comfortable with the wok, and we got a recipe book at the end, so in theory I should be able to make all these wonderful dishes at home.

You know, at that time in the undetermined future when I actually *have* a home again!

TAG: Code Sweet Chili Sauce

Still Chillin'

2009-10-16T05:55:00.005-07:00

Well, I'm doing stuff.... but forgot to bring the cord that will let me upload pictures to the computer. Soooooo.... do you want me to post, then add the pictures later & tell you to go back and look; or should I wait and post everything with pictures in a couple of weeks when I have access to my laptop again? Basically, do you just subscribe for the articles. ;) And really... is anyone still reading?

I'm still in Chiang Mai... relaxing, recovering. My travel mojo is at 65% right now, which is not bad actually. Beer consumption is at 5%. Plans are in the works.

Chillin' in Chiang Mai

2009-10-13T02:54:00.004-07:00

Rather than book a bus trip to Chiang Mai in backpacker-ville, I took a cab up to the normal bus station and booked a spot on a first class (although not VIP) bus. I was once again surrounded by Thai people, and although it is a bit more difficult to figure out what exactly I'm supposed to be doing or where I'm going, I have discovered that being traveling like a middle class Thai person is infinitely better than traveling like a backpacker.

When I went to Ko Phangan they picked me up at my hotel, and the first thing the organizer did was to put a sticker on my shirt. Branded appropriately, we cattle are much easier to herd towards the bus which was parked on a side street a few blocks away. When I bought my ticket to Chiang Mai, the woman asked for... of all things, my name... which she wrote on a ticket along with my seat number and the number for the spot where my bus would be parked. She then sent me on my way.

On arriving at the bus to Ko Phangan, the organizers started shouting, in their most delightful manner "Get on the bus, get on the bus now." as we crammed ourselves and our luggage into whichever spaces were available and settled in for the duration. There were a few scratchy, plaid, polyester blankets thrown over the seats. For the bus to Chiang Mai a uniformed bus-attendant checked my ticket and directed me towards my seat. There was a fake velvety blanket and lace-edged satiny neck pillow placed neatly at my seat.

As the Ko Phangan bus departed those of us smart enough to stop off at 7/11 first brought out our bottled water & various snacks. Shortly after heading for Chiang Mai however, the bus attendant walked by first to hand out little white boxes containing various Thai muffins and cookies (not all of which were exactly delicious... but thoughtful nonetheless), and moments later returned with a tray of beverages, ice water or Coke.

The soundtrack for the Ko Phangan bus was what could only be described as poorly covered 80s lite-rock. While I was tempted to sing along with the soundtrack to the Karate Kid 2, hearing "Somewhere out There" was just bizarre. On the Chiang Mai bus the videos were playing Thai Karaoke videos. One in particular was a melancholy tune sung as a woman in traditional dress engaged in various aspects of silk production, spinning, and weaving. Ok... so we'll call the music a tie - although the videos were kind of interesting.

The pit-stops! The Ko Phangan bus let us off at a disgusting little tourist trap where we were charged double & triple for fried rice, bottled water and a few packaged snacks like oreos or potato chips. The bathrooms were among the worst I've seen, a western style toilet with no seat, and a bucket for flushing in a dirty little shack out back. Ugh. Nasty! The Chiang Mai bus stopped at a brightly lit rest stop that also served overpriced noodles - but at least it looked clean and well maintained. The bathroom was limited to squatty pottys, but again, it was in an actual building & looked like it had been cleaned earlier that day. There was also an extensive souvenir shop where I could have, had I wished to have, bought a bag dried squid or various other tasty Thai snacks (including potato chips, ice cream, gum etc... but I have to say, the Thais love their dried squid). Fortunately I'd thought ahead and had stocked up at 7/11 earlier in the day.

I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep on a bus, there's just not enough room to get comfortable. But the bus to Chiang Mai was significantly less rockity, and I didn't feel quite like I was going down a heavily potholed dirt road.

And on arrival the Ko Phangan bus abruptly stopped and the organizers started shouting at us again "Get off the bus, last stop, get off the bus please." rousing us from whatever slumber we might have been attempting to enjoy. The bus-attendant on the Chiang Mai bus however, turned on the lights and since I had my night-mask on, gently shook my foot to wake me and handed me a prepackaged baby wipe with which to freshen up before arrival. She came by again a few minutes later with a tray of coffee and/or water. I mistakenly took the coffee, but it was no problem as she returned a few minutes later to collect all our trash.

All in all, if I have to travel again, I will do my best to avoid the backpacker tour-bus. I think the 1st class was all of $5 more expensive than had I taken a back-packer bus, but being treated like an actual human being made it absolutely worth it.

In both cases, however I arrived at my destination far earlier than would actually be useful. The ferry to Ko Phangan didn't leave for a good three hours after we'd arrived at the transfer station. And the Chiang Mai bus got me to the guest house about 3 hours before it opened. Gah! So I spent my first morning in Chiang Mai camped out in the outdoor lobby of a guest house trying to sleep on a wooden couch. And as luck would have it, they didn't even have a room. Fortunately the guest house next door did.

My room, at a whopping 300 baht (~$9) a night has a nice sized (if somewhat... solid) bed and beautifully clean modern bathroom with a fully-flushing toilet and hot shower. So I've decided to stick around for a while here.

Chiang Mai is LOVELY by the way. It's nice to be someplace moderately familiar again. And compared to Rayong everything is shiny and new. The restaurants have English menus, the dogs don't look rabid, and I haven't seen a single rat. Seriously though, it's nice... there are some cute little shops featuring local artists, and a LOT of second hand book shops, not to mention all the cafes. I plan on taking a cooking course here... maybe tomorrow. First order of business though, is sleeping and trying to get over the rest of this cold. And, you know, eating western food. Gotta put a little more weight on before coming home or none of my winter clothes will fit me. ;)

TAG: Code Sweet Chili Sauce

Back in Bangkok

2009-10-10T19:52:00.004-07:00

Ko Phangan was okay, did not reach spiritual nirvana, nor engage in any alcohol fueled hijinx. And aside from an Israeli theater dance major - I didn't really talk to anyone. It was beautiful and relaxing, pictures will follow someday. The bus/ferry combo was killer though. Tooo much traveling, not enough sleeping, toilets too disgusting to describe.*

I got to Bangkok yesterday at 5am, ate a little breakfast, then checked into a hotel room. Showered and smelling, if not feeling, fresher I went to Chatuchak market again for a little more shopping. I can't seem to stop myself from buying silk scarves. Got back, tried to nap, failed, then went for a late lunch/ early dinner. I was thinking about taking the morning bus, today, to Chiang Mai, so I texted the Brit to see if he was still living there.

It turned out he was in Bangkok for one day - he'd just spent 3 months in the UK (his mum is ill), and was heading down to Ko Phangan (where I'd just been) the next day. He's now working at a meditation retreat as a counselor. So we met up for a beer. It was nice to see him again, and really nice to have someone to talk to for a bit. He is the closest thing I have to a friend in this entire country. Saying good bye was weird. We're not likely to keep in touch, but he was like "see you around" and maybe we will see each other again, maybe not. Life is just too strange sometimes.

TAG: Code Coconuts

*although my tolerance for nasty toilets has gone up since I started carrying around my own roll of toilet paper.

Ayutthaya

2009-10-06T02:41:00.005-07:00

Yesterday I took a tour of the ancient city of Ayutthaya. There were a lot of ruins.

Lots and lots of ruins.

The tour guide spoke English... or rather, could recite his schpeil in English, but basically said the same thing at each site. This is for the worship of Buddha - there used to be a big building here, but it was destroyed in one of countless wars with Myanmar. It was not exactly riviting... but the ruins were kinda cool - especially when you imagined elephants ramming walls & knocking down pillars etc. Since that was how wars were fought at the time.

Halfway through the tour I discovered that the memory card in my camera was malfunctioning due to a virus it had contracted from my laptop*. So who knows if I'll ever get to post those pictures.... which is too bad because some of them were pretty cool.

Today I visited Vimanmek Palace, the largest teak mansion in the world, and a former residence of one of the kings of Thailand (Rama V - I think). It was quite regal and fancified... alas, no photos were allowed and the gift shop was woefully short on postcards. Suffice it to say I'm getting a proper dose of history & culture before heading down to Ko Phangan for some serious beach time.

TAG: Code Sweet Chili Sauce - I still have a bit of a cold, and a 16 hour bus/boat combo trip ahead of me.

* This is the story I got from the gal at the Kodak Shop - but who knows, I had to buy a new memory card anyway.

A Moderately Magical Meal

2009-10-04T07:22:00.006-07:00

Ok... vacation has more officially begun. I'm in Bangkok and staying in backpacker-land, just off Khao San Road (the ultimate backpacker land). It's so weird, when I entered the street it felt a bit like Disney Land - everything was trying just a little too hard to be 'authentic'. OH! And my very first impression was "Where'd all these white people come from?" I mean, I see foreigners in the malls sometimes, but this was like more white people than I'd seen in one place in I don't know how long. And seeing white men with similarly aged white women - that always gives me a double take at first.

I got checked into my guesthouse, it's cheap and clean enough. The bathroom is minuscule, but the upside of living in Rayong for so long is that the absence of birds, geckos and/or cockroaches can be considered an upgrade. I wandered around and peeked in a few of the shops. I'm not letting myself buy anything yet though - saving up for Chiang Mai & Hoi An, Vietnam.

There are a plethora of travel agencies around here - every hotel and every other shop seems to have one. I very quickly and easily arranged for my trip to Ayuthaya (ancient Thai city, temple ruins etc.) for tomorrow, and a trip to Ko Phangan (tropical island in the south) starting the next day. Could I have done it cheaper on my own - who knows? There can be a lot of pressure to travel 'off the beaten path' and to discover the 'hidden gems' of a country. But honestly - if living in Rayong wasn't 'off the beaten path' enough I don't know what is. And I've experienced the hidden gems of going to the best noodle cart in the city with a student, and cooking Thai food with a Thai family in their home. I've decided to go with quick & easy now. And I'm willing to pay a bit more for the convenience and have no qualms with following the well tread 'banana pancake trail'.*

After arranging my tours I freshened up and decided to get some dinner. I found an Indian food place around the corner and perused the menu outside. As I was looking, another woman - a bit older than I - came up and started looking too. We exchanged a few words and I decided not to eat alone. "Do you have a friend with you?" I asked her - gah! I've become Thai! But she was alone, so I asked if she wanted to join me.

Oh it was awesome. First off - Indian food is sharing food - so two dishes are always better than one. But also - she was incredible. She teaches elementary school in the south of Thailand and told me all about the violence and how the Chinese mafia (who'd a thunk it?) had stepped in to quell the violence at one point, so her city was marginally safer now. She's a weaver and a quilter so we chatted about textiles. And she's lived in Laos and Vietnam as well. She gave me a list of places to see when I go to Laos. It was so nice to have company for dinner, and someone so like-minded. I swear my soul is a 60 year old retiree.

I still have a cold but I'm feeling better now. I have the next stage of my Moderately Magical Mystery Tour planned. Yay for me!

TAG: Code Mango

*Hmmm.... feeling defensive Rebel? What's that about? I don't know. Reading too many travel guides I think. ;)

Oh, and because I know you were all very concerned about my leg-hair situation... when I was in Rayong dropping off my computer I went to my normal waxing gal. Fortunately I don't know enough Thai to know if she was saying 'serves you right for going to someone else!' - but she got me well sorted, and my legs are now beach-worthy. Yay!

An inauspicious start

2009-10-03T00:11:00.004-07:00

I got myself all checked out of my apartment yesterday, and made my way over to Ban Phe. I sold off the last few of my books, had some lunch then got my legs waxed.

WORST LEG WAXING EVER! It was cold wax - which is like a million times more painful than hot wax, and she did a shitty shitty job. Seriously, she missed patches here there and everywhere. Dude - what's the point of getting waxed if you're not actually going to remove all the hair? Gah. It's bad folks. I'm not sure what I can do at this point, but I think a re-waxing is in order. =/

I had intended to spend the day on Ko Samet, but I woke up with a cold. It was also raining, so I just had breakfast and when the rain let up a bit I went for a walk around to all the markets. Pretty low key. And now I'm hanging out enjoying Australian Network TV. Yay! The news just had a whole segment on how the Thai police academy has just accepted it's first group of female cadets. Wow! And I never would have known about it. So yeah... not the most exciting start to Rebel's Moderately Magical Mystery tour.... but at least I didn't have to teach kids today!!

TAG: Code Sweet Chili Sauce

Rebel's Moderately Magical Mystery Tour

2009-10-01T05:07:00.002-07:00

Ok... big deep breath, and exhale aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I didn't sleep well last night, too keyed up to sleep. When I did fall asleep, I had a fairly intense anxiety dream (of which I can remember nothing). But I woke up and stayed in bed a good long time. And it slowly began to occur to me that I didn't need to go to work today....and I don't need to go to work tomorrow. It's been a while since I've woken up knowing that I had two whole days with no obligations. Well, I did have an obligation to pack & get moved out by Friday. But then I thought "Why? Why am I creating more stress for myself?" All I really want to do today is hang out at Starbucks all morning, then maybe watch some DVDs while I slowly pack & repack my stuff. So I went downstairs and 'talked' to my landlady and told her I'd rather move out on Saturday. No problem! The sense of complete freedom is slowly but surely replacing the sense of anxiety. I think I'm going to be okay now.

And I've come up with the next step in my travel plans. There's a guest-house in Ban Phe that's part of the restaurant I like to go to on Sundays. It's cheap, familiar, there's a bookstore next to the restaurant, and there's a view of the ocean from their rooftop garden. This is the ideal spot for me to decompress for a bit before going into adventure mode. It'll also give me a chance to make sure I've packed everything that I need and nothing I don't. I'll be leaving the bulk of my stuff at the head teacher's place..... including my computer.

It was a tough call - I genuinely love my computer and I'm finally getting over feeling guilty about that. So I will bring it along to Ban Phe, spend some time organizing the photos I have accumulated and scouting out guest houses. But then I'll drop it back off with the rest of my stuff before I go to Bangkok and on to parts unknown.

Speaking of parts-unknown, I'm officially dubbing the next six weeks Rebel's Moderately Magical Mystery Tour. I'm going to take it easy. I'll plan each section step by step as opposed to trying to get it all sorted out in advance. This is radical people!!! But I will plan - I won't leave city #1 unless I have reservations for a place to stay at city #2.

You can count on me to spend copious amounts of time at various internet cafes, so I don't plan on going dark for any lenght of time... but pictures might be a bit scarce.

So that's that. I'm feeling a LOT better than I did last night. =) Still not sure how I'm going to cram appropriate clothing for a trip through three countries over the course of six weeks into a backpack and an overnight bag... but we'll see.

TAG: Code Sweet Chili Sauce

Not with a bang, but a whimper

2009-09-30T07:30:00.001-07:00

Thus ends my career as an English Language teacher in Thailand.

Um. Yeah.

In one of those circle of life moments the last class I taught here was the same private lesson as the first class I taught here. They haven't improved much. In fact they were and still are by far the least advanced of any of my students, despite now being in the pre-intermediate book. They're good guys, but none too bright. They don't have a proper set of teeth between them, and finally after nearly a year of teaching them I realized that the reason one of them had such horrid pronunciation was that he's deaf! I'm not sure *how* deaf, but the clues had been adding up until I finally saw his hearing aide. D'OH!

Anyway, in the previous class they'd made some reference to taking me out to dinner, but it didn't happen. We had some small talk, went through a work sheet and then played scrabble.... really really really bad scrabble. It was lame. And that was that. I'm officially unemployed.

And demonstrating exactly how unlucky I am, we've got a tropical depression* moving in and can expect heavy rains & probably flooding for the next three or four days. So my whole 'hang out on a tropical beach for a week' plan has gone out the window. I wouldn't even mind hanging out at a cafe near the beach in a rain storm... but the ferries won't go out in stormy weather. I think I'm going to take a day or two to sort things out.... and you know.... pack.

TAG: Code Watermelon

* You know, I think I might have a bit of Tropical Depression myself. I've been down, and my brain is not quite working normally - whatever normal is. But I keep telling myself, I'm here - I'm out living life, and nothing really bad has happened to me, so I can't be depressed. And sometimes I feel pretty good, so I don't know. I'll keep you posted.

The Penultimates

2009-09-29T08:06:00.005-07:00

When I first learned the term 'penultimate' I thought it was a joke. We have a word in English for 'the next to the last'??? Seriously??? But now that I'm wrapping things up in Thailand, this word seems extremely useful.

Today was, for example, my penultimate lunch with Marie. She's heading to Laos today, and will be moving to Bangkok for University while I'm traveling. But since I plan to stay in Bangkok for a while before flying home, we'll have other opportunities to see each other. I actually joined both Marie, and her mother Leah (who is Swiss - dad is Filipino). I've only talked to Leah a couple of times but I like her a great deal. She's in her mid to late 40s which puts me squarely between their ages. And honestly, I find her easier to relate to than her daughter. For one, she's a knitter (!!!!) and she's just a lot more outgoing and chatty. After lunch today I was wishing I'd had more of a chance to hang out with her over the past year - but it just didn't work out like that. I think she's a hoot, but it's not like Donny or Marie would invite her the next time we all went out for drinks. And with four* other kids at home, it's not like she has a lot of free time. In fact I think we mortified Marie when we briefly discussed condom availability in European and Asian counties. But it was nice, to have the day free and to have lunch with girls. Just nice.

Today was also my penultimate class. I had only been teaching it for a short time, but it had the potential to become my favorite class; a group of solid pre-intermediates who were signed up for 120 hours of lessons. I could have gone through the entire book with them - something I never got to do with any of my students, we were always starting in the middle or ending halfway through. I had them do a workbook page that was a challenging review of a lesson I'd kind of botched the class before, and then an activity that I know will be on the exam.** But after that we just played games.... because I felt like it. =P

They took me out to dinner somewhat spontaneously after class. We just went to a cinder block hole-in-the-wall noodle shop, but it was absolutely delicious. My student ordered me a bowl of noodle soup with crab... sweet fresh crab - more than likely caught less than 10 miles away early this morning. The soup was 45 baht / under $1.50 - delicious! It was all the better because I was starving - finally getting my appetite back. I spent a good long time with my head over my bowl chowing down, but eventually we all relaxed a bit and started chatting.

Actually by 'chatting' I mean: they asked me a few questions and I talked at them while they watched attentively - in that manner unique to polite non-native speakers who are trying to grasp overall meaning from the 75% - 80% of what I'm saying that they can comfortably understand.*** After feeling pretty crappy this last week, it was a really nice feeling. Just nice.

Everything I do this week I will be doing for the penultimate time. Since I'm storing my long-term luggage here, I will have to swing through one more time before heading home for good. It's such a strange feeling - it's the last time .... but not really the last time. But it's also a nice feeling the door is closing, but it's not shut yet. My responsibilities are ending and I'm feeling the slightest sense of freedom in the distance. I'm ready to leave, but I'm glad that it's not for good... not yet. Penultimate.... it's a good word.

TAG: Code Mango - yeah yeah, how quickly thing change, but it was nice today, the weather was nice, the company was nice, the class was nice, the food was nice, everything was nice and after feeling crummy for a while, nice can be perfect.

* I think there are four still at home - I lose count - there are 12 kids altogether. Good NIGHT!

** I cannot even express how much easier it is to plan a lesson the second or third time through. After teaching the pre-intermediate class - at least the first three modules - I know what's going to be on the test and I can make sure to cover it thoroughly when it comes up & not just wait until we review the day before the class. Alas - knowing what's covered in the listening portion of the pre-intermediate- units 1-3 exam is not one of those transferable skills we love to put on our resumes. =/

*** Another non-transferable skill I've picked up is a slightly slowed down, well enunciated and grammatically uncomplicated pattern of speaking that we call "Teacher English." I'll use contractions for "it's" and "what's" but not for "can't" because it's too difficult to tell from "can" - I can say what I want to say but I usually slow myself down by crafting my sentences somewhat carefully as I go. I've gotten really good at being easy to understand... so good at it that I often forget I'm doing it when I speak to other native speakers. Fortunately they all do it too so we just laugh at ourselves when we catch it.

crash

2009-09-27T20:33:00.006-07:00

It was only a matter of time - I got into my first motorbike accident on Saturday night. It wasn't actually the worst part of the night, but it's worth a mention here.

I was on the back of a motorbike taxi going through old town. We went through an intersection - I have no idea if there was a stop sign or who had right of way... those things just don't quite mean anything here. Anyway as we were going through I looked to my right and saw a woman on a motorbike, with her toddler sitting in front of her. If you've been in an accident you know that slow motion feeling you get when you see it happening but you don't really think it's going to happen until it does. CRASH - she crashed right into my foot!*

Neither of us were going particularly fast and it's motorbikes - not cars - so there's not nearly the same force of impact. Nevertheless, her little girl slid off her lap and kind of half fell and started crying. All the bags the mom was carrying on her handlebars spilled everywhere.** My taxi driver stopped, and I hopped off immediately. He ran to help the lady, who had at this point set her daughter down on the ground properly. The little girl starts wandering around in the street while the mom was straightening up her bike (it had only tipped off balance, not fallen over completely) and telling her daughter "mai bpen lai, mai bpen lai" (nevermind / don't worry). The taxi guy picked up her bags and got her sorted again. The mom gathered up her little girl and was on her way again.

The whole thing happened so fast I just kinda stood there dumbfounded for a minute. None of the traffic on the streets stopped - cars and motorbikes just kinda swerved around us and the little girl. It was surreal, absolutely surreal. Once the mom & daughter were off, the taxi guy got back on his motorbike, as did I and we were off as well. He said repeatedly "Maaa lao" (came fast) in refrence to the other driver, and was still a bit shaken up when he dropped me off. But like, that's that. No checking for damage or taking pictures, no exchanging insurance information. And really, no one was injured. My foot hurt, but it's fine. It was so bizarre.

I think there's something to be said for driving smaller vehicles. I've been in a slow speed crash in a car that gave me whiplash and did some fairly expensive damage to the car. This was probably about the same speed, or possibly faster but because there's not so much weight going into it, there was less damage. It's just not as dangerous. Americans tend to think bigger cars are safer... but I just don't think that's true. Safer for the person in the bigger car maybe, but then before you know it we're all driving tanks down the street. Something to think about.

TAG: Code Fish Sauce.... I'm still having stomach troubles, but my student this morning canceled so I got to come back home to rest.

* Had I been wearing a skirt, both feet would have been on the other side of the bike, one vote in favor of riding side saddle.

** Bags are nothing - I saw a motorbike earlier that night with three people on it - one of whom was carrying a 27" TV.

Naturally

2009-09-26T22:50:00.005-07:00

since I have only three teaching days left (and three days left on my insurance here) I got sick.

I have yet another stomach bug. Last night/this morning was not pretty. I slept in the bathroom. I briefly considered going to the hospital after I puked up my antibiotic pill (perhaps the most horrible experience in my life - definitely top 3). And I had to call three people before I could find someone to help me: 1. had her phone off, 2. "your apartment is soooo faaar" (it turned out he had a 'guest' over) and finally 3. Pink - one of the office staff from my school, brought me some much needed bottled water & Sprite.

I managed not to puke between when I called her and when she came over, so I decided not to go to the hospital. I've had an experimental cracker and a few sips of the Sprite. I don't feel great, but I feel like I'm probably over the worst of it.

Dear readers, have I finally, once and for all, disabused you of the notion that solo international travel is glamorous and exciting?

TAG: Code Durian (at least for the time I spent in the bathroom)

Why you do like that?

2009-09-23T23:33:00.010-07:00

You know, the only thing worse than the isolation of being the only native English speaking woman in this town* is having everyone point it out to me.

Every day I ask my classes what they did the day before, or over the weekend. And sometimes ... in the more advanced classes at least... they ask me the same question in return. So I was telling my pre-intermediates that I had gone to the beach ... or maybe it was Bangkok, I can't remember. They asked me who I went with and I said "Just me." and seriously - everyone is scandalized.

To reassure them that I'm not completely pathetic I tell them that there were two women who taught at the school and we did everything together while they were here, but now that they've left it's just me, so I do things alone. But they go on to ask "You have a boyfriend?", "Um.... no." "You have a boyfriend in America???" (they're getting desperate now) and I tell them that "If I had a boyfriend in America I would not be in Thailand alone." and now my favorite part... I actually get this one a lot "Oh... I don't believe you." GAH! I don't know if it's meant as flattery, or a joke, or what... but it's just annoying.

In about half my evening classes, when they find out that I walk home alone at night, one of the men is scandalized enough to insist that he drive me home.... the entire 1/2 mile of well occupied road. It's fine, I'm lazy enough to appreciate the ride. One of my students has been driving me home on Tuesdays and Thursdays and actually took me out for mango & sticky rice the other day. It was nice to sit and chat with him... but I got the quiz about being alone again.

Then, yesterday I was walking to the food court to get dinner and I ran into him. As though we had not JUST had the quiz he started in on me again
"Where are you going?"
"To get some dinner."
"Alone?"
"Yes... just me."
"Why you do like that?"

GAH!!!

I think for a Thai person, there's nothing worse than being alone. Seriously... the culture tends to have the attitude of "the more the merrier" and most restaurants & bars are set up with long tables to accommodate large parties. In the home, meals are served on mats on the floor, usually outside. There doesn't seem to be the concept of needing to set another place at the table, it's normal to have a lot of people at a meal and since everyone serves themselves from several communal dishes in the center - an extra person or two is no big deal.

My students concern for me is genuine, and I do appreciate it. But it's hard not to feel that much worse about being on my own here. Part of me feels like a failure for not having made friends. I get along well enough with the Filipino women at the school. But when I hang out it's rarely fun or interesting enough for me to want to go out of my way to encourage the friendship. We have virtually nothing in common with regard to passions or interests or priorities in life. I spend enough time in bland & polite conversations with my students that I'm just not all that enthusiastic about doing it again over dinner.

It's not like the movies kids. I had this idea that I would be surrounded by all these interesting and adventurous people from England or Australia or wherever... but that just hasn't happened. The western guys who come here do so for the Thai women** and western women don't seem to find their way into Rayong. I imagined being surrounded by other foreign teachers would mean intelligent conversations about worldly topics. Nope. I have never in my life heard so many openly racist jokes and comments about people from different countries.

And it's the kind of thing that I was able to overlook or at least keep a balanced attitude about for a while. Especially while Bunny was here - she tended to steer every conversation towards the silly and ridiculous - evenings out with the group were fine, they were fun. But after a year, and without any buffer personalities to even out the group it's really grating on me. And I'm sure I've grated on the others. It's not fun anymore.

The other day I mentioned to Jeb that I had picked a location for my going away dinner on Saturday night. His response... "Oh - I'm having a party at my place that night... you can come if you want." He'd already invited half the teachers in Rayong... just, you know... not me. And that's fine. It's just my last week here. Why should that matter? I really wouldn't care if he didn't come to my going away thing... but I'm not about to try to compete with his party. I really just need to get out of here.

TAG: Code Fish Sauce

*Marie is technically a native English speaker in that it is her first and only fluent language... but she has a Swiss mother, Filipino father and was born in Thailand.

**I knew this would be the case before I got here, and I've gone back and forth between feeling like I'm being prejudiced and should give the guys a chance, and having those prejudices confirmed over and over and over again. One of these days I will post aaaaaaall about this topic.

*** Edited to add that it happened AGAIN just after I wrote up this post. I substituted for another teacher and was asked "Are you married?" not once, but twice (the second guy was out of the room when the first guy asked) and "Do you have a friend in Rayong? A buddy?" Do you even know what it's like to have to stand in front of a room full of strangers and have to answer "No." while smiling?

Just so you know...

2009-09-22T18:52:00.001-07:00

I'm still totally freaking out.

Everyone keeps asking me what I'm doing next, and I have an answer... "I'm going to head up towards Chiang Mai, then visit Laos & Vietnam before flying back to the states." but the fact is, I don't have a single hostel booked, I have made no idea when the bus leaves for Chiang Mai or from which station. I have some vague plans of visiting an island before I start traveling in earnest but I still don't have a clue which island to visit. And this is all the easy fun stuff!!

I don't even know when I'm checking out of my apartment. I gave my landlady a vague wave at the calendar indicating the first or second week of October, and she seemed more or less okay with that. Or possibly she was cussing me out for my indecision in words I have no hope of understanding.

I'm not looking forward to YET AGAIN going through every item in my apartment and determining it's value to me in the long and short terms, evaluating whether it will be thrown out, mailed to the States, packed up to be stored for six weeks, or dragged along with me through three countries. Every time I lug my laptop around in my backpack I tell myself there's no way I could deal with traveling with it. Every time I think about leaving my laptop behind for six weeks I break into a panic - there's no way I could survive without unlimited access to the internet!

Once I leave this apartment I'll be living out of some combination of suitcases for like.... indefinitely, with a bare minimum of two months. The nomadic lifestyle does NOT appeal to me. All the declutterers of the world tell you that getting rid of your stuff frees you. But it's not true. Or rather, it's only true to a point. No, you probably don't need twice as many TVs as the number of people in your household, nor do you need the keychain some extended cousin gave you for your 15th birthday just because it reminds you of that one time you went rollerskating together. But as humans, we need stuff. We don't have fur or claws or shells... we can't go naked through the world. We have big brains & nimble hands. We make stuff and we use that stuff to create the environments in which we live.... this is what humans do. Take away my stuff and you're taking away my world.

OK - perhaps I'm being slightly melodramatic here. But seriously... I hate this part, I really hate this part. Anyone want to come over and help me?

TAG: Code Fish Sauce

Scary Movie

2009-09-20T23:21:00.001-07:00

The other day one of the gals from the office, Pink, invited me to go with her to a movie. She really wanted to see the new ghost movie and was afraid to go alone. I've been wanting to see a Thai movie while here, so this seemed like a good idea.

Now, it's important to note that Thai people *love* ghost stories. Most of my students believe in ghosts and one even told me a story about being visited by his late mother's ghost. When I went to Phuket last April one of my students warned me to watch out for the ghosts of the tsunami victims. While Buddhism is the dominant religion in Thailand, a lot of older animistic / superstitious beliefs get mixed in there too.

Spirit houses abound. You can't walk down the street without seeing a little offering of food, drink and/or incense set out to appease any spirits that might be around. Even at my school there is a small alter with a picture of a monk, one of the former kings, and maybe a Buddha statue (I've never actually gone up and inspected it)... every morning one of the staff sets out a glass of water, a glass of juice and a glass of tea for their spirits and says a little prayer of respect to them. So yeah, ghosts and spirits are a very real part of the culture here, and I was really looking forward to watching a genuine Thai ghost movie.

The one we saw was actually a collection of five short movies (the title in Thai was something original like Five Ghost Tales - I think the English title is Phobia 2). Although I usually avoid any kind of horror movies, so I'm hardly an expert, I think it was a pretty representative sample of the genre.

The first film, Novice, was the most interesting to me, and the most Thailand-specific. The movie starts out with a wide open road... a car is speeding from one direction, a couple of helmeted teenagers on a motorbike coming from the other. A crash seems imminent but instead one of the teens hucks a rock into the windshield of the oncoming car which crashes in a nearby ditch.

In the next scene a teenager is having his head shaved in preparation for being a novice monk. The identity of the teen is a bit ambiguous, as is the whereabouts of his father. But if you've seen any kind of 'suspense' movie, I think you know where this story is heading.

This poor kid is not an especially good monk however and proceeds to intentionally as well as accidentally break a great many Thai/Buddhist taboos:

1. As the monks are walking through a forest they pass plates of food offerings to hungry-spirits (ghosts whose loved ones are not properly taking care of them in the afterlife), the novice carelessly steps into one of the plates. GASP! The foot is the lowest part of the body - the most 'unclean' and to even point your foot at another person is considered rude. To step into an offering like that is about the equivalent of taking a piss in a baptismal font.

2. While washing some dishes in a river the monk spots a snake & gecko locked in battle. The gecko escapes & runs up into the novice's robes. He freaks out, throws off his robe and stomping on them kills the gecko. Buddhists in general and monks in particular are NOT supposed to kill anything - not even a fly. So, this novice is wracking up bad-karma points by the dozens.

3. Monks are not allowed to eat after sundown. The novice is lying awake in his bungalow late at night when his stomach growls. He goes back outside to the offerings of foods for the hungry ghosts and steals a packet of instant noodles. Double GASP! At this point my Thai friend was whispering urgently to me "Ooooh can not, can NOT!"

Naturally this rather irritates the hungry ghost giant who goes all ghosty on the village/temple area. He slams the doors and rattles the window shutters of the novice's bungalow and tears down one of the altars. Upon seeing the destruction the next morning, the head monk portends (in one of very few lines of dialogue) "A hungry ghost will be reborn, and a soul will be damned in it's place."

4. For all his sins, the novice is told to go meditate in a spooky candlelit cave. Creepiness abounds... eerie music, ominous shadows, candles being blown out by the wind. On running out of the cave the novice trips over and breaks a white string that wound around the hungry ghost alter, into the temple, and through the hands of each of the monks who are meditating and praying for protection. On feeling the string snap one of the monks looks up and the head monk delivers his second & last line of dialogue "Nothing can be done now." ooooooooohhhhhh!

In the final montage, the novice hears spooky things in the forest & throws rocks in the general direction of the sounds, someone... or something (cue *very* spooky music here) throws it back at him and hits him in the head. As he is lying on the ground bleeding grotesquely we have flashbacks to the first scene of the movie - GASP! it's *him* on the motorbike throwing a rock at the oncoming car. And DOUBLE GASP!! - it was his father in the car! He continues to get pelted by rocks as he grabs his cell phone and pathetically calls his mother to say "Kor tot, koooooor toooooot" (I'm sorry, I'm sorry) but his mother cannot recognize his voice and hangs up on him. A little special effects magic and we see the novice's hands enlarge and become grotesque as his perspective rises up into the air. He becomes the giant hungry ghost and his soul is damned... uh...eternally? Or at least until the next incarnation.

The movie was genuinely spooky, although this is like 98% due to the creepy music and things jumping out from nowhere. I screamed a lot! It was a fun experience.... screaming along with all the Thai teenagers in the theater. But it has NOT turned me into a horror movie fan. After the second short movie (doomed patient in a hospital room next to a guy hovering between life & death) I was ready to go home. But then there was a zombie movie and one about a haunted used car lot. I cannot take that much creepiness! Fortunately the last movie was a spoof and provided some much needed comic relief.

On Saturday I told my afternoon students I'd seen the movie - one had seen it already and two of them were planning on going. It's always nice when I can connect with my students in some way or other. In fact, on break they were all watching Phobia 1 (or Four Ghost Tales) on the TV in the lobby and there was a collective gasp of disappointment when the office staff turned off the TV and made everyone get back to class. After class the students fairly ran out of the room to get back to watching it. What can I say? The Thais LOVE their ghost stories!!

Out to lunch

2009-09-14T01:48:00.006-07:00

This month has been pretty quiet for me... one week of only evening classes and now only two classes a day 9 -11am then 6-8pm, which gives me plenty of time to hang out and relax. Well last week Marie and I met up for lunch in old-town. It's an adorable restaurant with an English menu... what more can you ask for?

We had some tuna sandwiches, dim-sum and cha yen. Then just chatted.

Can I tell you how much I love just relaxing?

TAG: Code Watermelon

This is how teachers get arrested...

2009-09-12T02:52:00.004-07:00

and I sooooo know better! Gah.

This afternoon my class finished the lesson a bit early. I was going to make them do a work book page but they started whining for a game. I'm usually okay with this - they're a good class and they do class work when I ask them to. But I wasn't prepared this time, we've kinda over done hang-man and other vocab games.

In another class they'd asked to play a game and the kids taught me the ... I don't even know if it has a name, I never played it when I was a kid. Basically you blindfold one kid and everyone else is supposed to freeze (they never do) so the blindfolded kid can grab someone and guess who it is. Everything was going well - it really is a hilarious game, as long as you're not the one blindfolded. ;) I'd let all the kids play and it was right at 4 o'clock so I told the kids to go home. But they were like "teacher play too!" so I did.

You know, I'm fairly conservative, and tend to err on the side of extreme caution when it comes to touching my students. As in... I don't do it. Period. Earlier in the morning my 5 year old girl was standing next to my chair coloring a picture (she doesn't like to sit down). She kept edging closer and closer to me - in the way that 5 year olds tend to do and at one point tried to climb up in my lap. And just so you know what kind of hard-ass I am - I got up, pulled her chair around and had her sit down again in her own chair. It's not that I'm necessarily opposed to a child sitting in my lap, but at school I want to draw the line between "teacher" and "mom" you know?

So I don't know what I was thinking, but there I was blind-folded and fumbling around the room. At one point I bumped into my desk and fairly fell onto the chair. Lo & behold there was someone *in* the chair! And in the process of getting up & trying to figure out which part of the person was where I think I did some fairly inappropriate groping. Probably not *that* inappropriate... but it was a bit more full-body contact than one would want. When I identified the kid and took off my blindfold the kids were um... scandalized? It's hard to tell - they were laughing... and not using full sentences... but from the miming - gah! It was not teacher-appropriate.

And it was only *after* playing that I remembered a story I heard about a local English teacher getting fired over a student complained about inappropriate touching. Gah! So, yeah - I will *not* be playing that game again.

TAG: Code Fish Sauce

Well that was refreshing

2009-09-11T03:41:00.002-07:00

I have a new student, a doctor with intermediate level English who's studying for the TOEFL. While it's nice to have a student I can actually talk to... it's a whole new kind of challenging. We're not using a text book and we're practicing a very specific type of speaking skill... formulating one's thoughts on a subject for 15 seconds, then delivering a concise and well organized response for between 45 and 60 seconds. Because that's what the TOEFL tests. Gah!

So for a two hour class I need to prepare a good couple dozen topics and then be prepared to help him perfect whichever tense or structure he chooses to use. NOT EASY!

But when I walked out of class today there was a decidedly exotic sight was waiting in the lobby. There was an American woman sitting there talking to my manager about working at the school. I introduced myself and we chatted about the pros and cons of working in Rayong. Although she was a bit older -couldn't have been much more than 50 - we clicked fairly instantly. I cannot even tell you how nice it was to have someone pleasant* to chat with. I didn't have to 'grade my language' or slow down. I didn't have to mime anything. Lovely!

I'm really really really REALLY looking forward to being back in a country where I can do that with everyone. Folks - you are not going to be able to shut me up for WEEKS.

*I'm a bit on the outs with the guys in the office. It's all very Jr. High and not worth discussing here.

We are dentists.

2009-09-06T08:48:00.005-07:00

I went to the dentist last week, and I have to say it was pretty darn easy too. There are tons of dental clinics in Rayong. I went to the one recommended to me by Marie who recently had her two front teeth replaced as the result of a motorbike accident. I figured she would know.

I think it's called Pattaya Dentists... but I couldn't read that sign if I tried (funky modern font). The tooth though, that's a pretty good hint. ;)

And a block down the street there's this clinic. I LOVE this sign.

"We are dentists." - informative, succinct, grammatically correct- what more could you ask for?

The whole experience was pretty typical of my life here. Everything's exactly the same, but completely different.

Exactly the same:
I was really dreading going. I have really bad teeth, I know this. They're too close to floss easily, the enamel is weak and I've been told I have acidic saliva. These teeth put Amanda Bynes through college.* They are also absurdly hypersensitive. I once complained that my teeth were still hurting three hours after a cleaning and was swiftly informed that cleanings aren't actually supposed to hurt. Hmmm...

So despite the fact that Bunny & Bobby went in for a cleaning back in December, I've managed to put it off until now. But my teeth were bugging me and I was afraid I might have a cavity so I finally put on my big girl panties and marched myself to the clinic.

Completely different:
When I walked into the clinic I took off my shoes and put them on the shelf by the door. I was barefoot on the cold tile floor. I had only intended to make an appointment for the next day - to give myself time to mentally steel myself for the experience. But when I told the (blessedly English-speaking) staff that, they said pleasantly "No... today. Please sit down." Um... ok.

After filling out a brief contact card (listing drug allergies and other medical conditions) I sat down on the couch. I had barely opened a magazine before I was called in. Now, I've waited significantly longer than this when I've had a scheduled appointment, so that was a bit of a shock.

Exactly the same:
I was led back into a little glass cubical with the dentist's chair and all associated gear. The hygienist got a sterilized tray out and placed it on the table. She took my glasses & purse etc. and draped me with a little paper sheet.

Completely different:
The actual dentist came in, wearing his white coat & all to do the cleaning.

Exactly the same:
He showed me the tartar on my teeth using a little mirror and told me "You should use floss every day." >roll eyes<

Completely different:
They put a towel over my eyes and another over my neck and chin. I actually liked this. Not only did it shield my eyes from the bright light & protect my chin from spray-back, but it eliminated the awkwardness of staring up the dentist's nostrils while he worked.

Exactly the same:
"Please rinse your mouth."

Completely different:
Well, not completely. The cleaning was quicker not nearly as thorough as I've had in the States. There was no fluoride treatment although there was more than enough scraping & polishing to satisfy me that I was better off for having it done.

Exactly the same:
It hurt like a bee-ach. The dentist chuckled "Yes, a lot of people have sensitivity to cleanings." as I batted his hand away after he scraped a particularly sensitive spot.

Completely different:
With no insurance, I had to pay myself. But it was only 700 baht ($20 US) or in more practical terms, a smidgen more than twice my hourly wage. In the States a cleaning was more like $70 or 3.5 times my hourly wage. So while it was cheap for me, it's hard for me to say if it's considered affordable by the average Thai person. Probably not.... but probably not prohibitively expensive either as I'm pretty sure I got charged the farang price.

Final verdict: When I told my dentist in Oregon that I'd be living in Thailand, and when I've talked to westerners about dentists here in Thailand I've gotten a reaction to the effect of "Oh you don't want to go to a Thai dentist if you can help it!" But nothing about my experience would lead me to agree with that sentiment.** The place was modern and clean, the dentist spoke English well enough to indicate he'd had some serious schooling. All the equipment looked pretty standard, and my teeth do feel and look cleaner. They're still sore despite the dentist's assurances that I had no cavities. But I'm not going to worry about it much. And now that I've done it, I kinda wish I'd done it sooner.

I don't know if I would go as far as recommending that a tourist go get his/her teeth cleaned while traveling here... but it was one of those experiences that was just different enough to make me realize that the way we do things in the States is not the only (nor necessarily the best) way to do them. If more people had the benefit of that perspective, I think it would help the debates about how to fix what's wrong with health care in the states.

TAG: Code Watermelon

*No joke - when my family lived in CA, her dad was my dentist. I saw her as an Ooompa Loompa in my High School's production of Willy Wonka when she was like 6.

**On the other hand, I have heard second hand stories of a dentist chipping a tooth he wasn't working on, and then trying to charge the patient for fixing it. I'm guessing 'malpractice' doesn't really translate.

Life's too short to read lame books.

2009-09-01T19:18:00.007-07:00

Mr. Bryson, you have let me down. =(

I picked up Made in America because I've been on quite a Bill Bryson kick lately but it is not at all what I expected. I thought it would be travel-related, like about interesting places in the states. I know he wrote a book like that...it's just not this one. This one is about American English. And while that subject usually interests me... this one just leaves me flat. I really don't need to know why some cities are called " -boro" (Hillsboro) and others "- burg" (Newburg).

And I'm irritated, the used bookstore had a whole stack of Jane Austen books and I'd gotten it into my head to read Persuasion next. But when I got there they didn't have it. I could have picked up Northanger Abby but you know... I got into a snit because it didn't have what I wanted.

I also recently finished Wuthering Heights. I had been advised against reading it... and I can see why. The book is deeee-pressing. There's not really a single character with whom I can identify. And it doesn't help much that among the characters introduced in the first few chapters there's a Heathcliff, Cahterine Earnshaw, Catherine Linton, Heathcliff Linton, Hareton Earnshaw, Hindley Earnshaw, and I think a grandfater Hareton Earnshaw as well. I made a list of who was who and still couldn't quite keep all the relationships straight. Gah... far too much work! Irredeemable and indistinguishable characters aside... it was a good book. I was absolutely captivated by the story and did want to know how it turned out. There's a dark Gothic feel to the story that could rival even the most teen-angsty vampire book out there. So in that respect it was refreshing to read a story of the Regency period* that's not all fancy balls and farcical romances. Still I wouldn't say that I *enjoyed* reading it.

I have a couple more books on my shelf... but nothing I'm extremely eager to read. I can't wait to get back home to whole libraries full of books in English. Never mind Powells and all the other bookstores I could practically live in if allowed. Soon soon soon!

TAG: Code Watermelon

*Technically the story takes place in the Georgian period but it's close enough.

Well that was easy.

2009-08-31T10:05:00.009-07:00

You know, I think I have a pretty good brain. All my senses process fairly normally, I can remember a decent amount of stuff. I can be a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, but most of the neurons seem to be firing ok most of the time. But my brain can also be my worst nightmare sometimes. I don't know why it works so hard to make me miserable.

A while back I was talking to Jeb about my travel plans and expressing my wishy-washyness about the whole thing. He commented that I needed to get my plan for visiting Vietnam worked out because "You can't just come and go whenever you want, you need to put the dates of travel on the visa application." This coupled with some visa horror stories I've read on other blogs, and the fact that a couple of my students have told me that the Vietnamese hate Americans (can't imagine why) has had me well and truly stressed out. I got it in my head that I needed to finalize my plans, and prepare for a big to-do at the embassy, which added to the dread, which added to the procrastination, which gave me more time to worry.... etc etc etc.

But I've been reading The Artist's Way and one piece of advice the author gives is to keep focused on the next step. You don't need to worry about whether or not the painting will sell if you haven't even put brush to ink yet. Obviously this is a good attitude for life as well. So I decided that rather than fussing and worrying about the trip I could take the next actionable step.

I printed out the visa application last week. Then I worried and stressed out about it for a few days. But then I took the next step. Read the instructions. OK...the tourist visa is valid for one month. I cannot enter the country before the 'valid from' date and I have to leave before the 'valid until' date. Um... ok. Considering I only have about 6 weeks off and I want to spend at least one of them on a Thai beach and another one in Chiang Mai, and was only planning on staying in Vietnam for about two weeks anyway... that's not much of a problem. I filled out the mercifully brief (and in English) application.

Then I proceeded to stress about the fact that I'd have to go to Bangkok the night before so I could get to the embassy when it opened and what to do if it wasn't ready by the end of the day, and I didn't want to bring a whole overnight bag but I didn't want to wear the same sweaty clothes again the next day and which guest house should I stay in and this is really expensive. But wait... what's the next step? Just get to Bangkok during embassy business hours. Ok... I can do that. I have all of Monday and the better part of Tuesday off, and the minivan only takes two hours.

Ok it's Monday morning, and I'm in the minivan on the way to Bangkok. Now, let's stress about something new... I know - I'll never be able to find the embassy, that's a good one! Oh wait.... hang on, I actually have a map. Well, I mean, it's not going to be *on* the map... I'll have to find the road in the index and look and.... oh wait - there's the embassy right there on the map - apparently walking distance from the skytrain, and only two stops from the mall I hang out at all the time anyway. Well that's not nearly complicated enough... let's take a taxi!

Uh oh... there's traffic. We're never going to get there before it closes for lunch... oh - we're here? OK but there's going to be a .... what, no line? Um okay. Here's my form.... here's my passport and my picture (I had a stack of them made when I got here so I couldn't stress about that ;) )...here's my money. Be back by 4pm to pick it up*? Um... ok.

I briefly considered finding a tourist attraction to add to my day. You know, to make sure I had *something* to stress out about. But then I decided that all I really wanted and needed to do with the day was to get the visa and to eat western food. Conveniently enough there was an Au Bon Pain in the business complex next to the embassy... and yet another mall just a couple blocks away. I spent a good long time in the book/craft/hobby store (they had yarn - but nothing I couldn't find at home) bought an American crossword puzzle book and spent the next several hours hanging out at Starbucks. At 3:30 I headed back over to the embassy, picked up my shiny new visa and was ready to go back to Rayong by 4pm.

I don't know why my brain insists on freaking out about everything. When I first got to Rayong I thought I was developing some serious zen-like qualities. But no... I think that was still the shock & awe phase of culture shock. There's so much new stuff coming at you from every different angle you don't have time to stop and worry about anything. But if I'm not getting over my tendency to freak out, I am at least learning to deal with it. Take it one small, actionable, step at a time. Don't try to multi-task and combine sight-seeing with errand running... just do the thing that needs to get done and relax while it's being done.** Sometimes everything goes just fine.

Ok... so will you folks remind me of this next time my brain decides to go all 'worst case scenario' on me?

TAG: Code Watermelon

* I paid quite a bit extra to do this, I didn't want to give my brain the chance to stress about what could happen to my passport if it were off my person for more than 5 hours.

** I know this about myself, but I keep getting whacked upside the head with it. I need to be able to focus on one thing at at time and I need to be given the appropriate amount of time to do it. When I try to do to much, or don't give myself enough time, I'm a basket case.

Enough

2009-08-30T09:58:00.004-07:00

I have seen enough and done enough.

This is going to be my mantra for my last couple of months here. I have seen enough! I have done enough! I don't need to see or do anything else. Please keep reminding me of this.

I'm feeling a strong obligation to go visit Vietnam and Laos while I'm out here. For one thing I will probably never come back this way again. I feel like I might regret it if I get back to the US having *only* visited Thailand and Cambodia. I'm not immune to the traveler's ultimate ego trip.... getting to check another country off the list and being able to say "oh yeah, I've been there." But more than that, I really do want to see how life is different in those countries. I want to learn a little more history, a little more geography, a little more culture. That is... I want those things in theory.

But the reality is - the idea of spending hours online arranging lodging and transportation, mapping out routes and then making sure I have all the phone numbers and addresses etc - just sounds exhausting. The idea of winging it and just taking it day by day is terrifying. I know I couldn't relax during the day if I didn't where I was going to spend the night. Furthermore the idea of navigating yet another foreign country on my own... well that sounds down-right tortuous.

The truth is, I could be quite content to get myself set up in a nice hotel near the beach.... with hot water, air conditioning, cable TV & western food at the doorstep. I am dead tired of 'roughing it' here in Rayong. I made some decisions... good decisions.... when I first got here about not spending a lot of money feathering my nest. My apartment is pretty bare bones and not cozy. It's functional... but I'm done with it. I'm done with the no hot water, no couch, no kitchen existence. And the idea of going even rougher with the whole bus - backpack - bed - bus - backpack - bed routine is not even remotely appealing at the moment.

I think I'm just going to give myself permission not to do any more exploring. I've seen enough. I'm going to devote some time to finding a perfect beach and a stack of books to read once I finish teaching. If and when I get bored of that... well, that's when I'll start planning my next adventure.

TAG: Code Watermelon

Elephant Snot

2009-08-29T08:45:00.005-07:00

There was a babeh elephant at the beach a couple of weeks ago.

In the process of trying to feed him I got more than a few blobs of elephant snot on me. We'll be chalking that one up as another "only in Thailand" experience.

TAG: Code Watermelon

The Truth

2009-08-28T02:44:00.005-07:00

Time to dip into the Well of Uncomfortable Truths again.

Ok, the Bitch and Moan edition - probably not my most popular endeavor... but necessary to my sanity.

Also, it turns out I'm lazy. I really want to call it by another name... but lazy fits the bill. After all the insane back and forth about my schedule a few classes got canceled and suddenly I have tons of free time. And as a result my mental health has improved dramatically. For the past three days I have only had one class per day. I sleep until I wake up (as opposed to waking up to the alarm), take my time getting dressed, spend a couple hours dorking around online, get breakfast, then spend the next couple of hours reading at a coffee shop. After a thoroughly unproductive day I'm ready to go to work at about 4pm to do some lesson prep. or other paperwork. I teach one class from 6-8pm or so and I'm ready to go home.

And you know what... I've felt pretty good about the quality of the classes that I've taught. I'm not tired and cranky when I get to the school. I have time to find extra activities and games to use for warmers. But I'm not bored from having to sit in the teacher's room all day. OH... and I've been working with ADULTS! So there's no singing of ridiculous songs "The magic that you neeeeed is all inside your heaaaaaad, let's use our hearts and all learn how to flyyyyyy."* or trying coax the 5 year old out from under the table. No, I'm actually able to relate to my students in a normal manner. And my new class is an actual class... not a private lesson. So I can put them in groups and make them discuss something for a few minutes while I just walk around listening & answering questions.

There's a part of me that feels guilty for being lazy. Lots of people here work far more hours than I do, and seem to do so without all the complaining. But I'm also learning to do this new thing where I just listen to what my body and brain are telling me and try not to be something I'm not.

So that's just how I am. I function best when I only have to work about half time, when I have a LOT of peaceful alone time. This is something I'm going to try to accomodate when I start looking for a job again. Maybe I need to cut waaaaaaay back on expenses so that I don't have to work a full time job. I'm not totally sure how to swing that - what with wanting to travel more - but I'm going to keep it in mind.

I'm also discovering that I'm a bit of a cream puff. All I do is hang out in bed - I tried to figure out why and it's because nothing else in my apartment is comfortable. The floor is cold hard tile, the chairs are metal and plastic, with only a little cusion on the seat, and I have no couch or easy chair to relax in. I've tried rearranging my computer and putting pillows on my chair, but the fact is... I'm actually a lot more active and productive in a cozy environment. Back in Portland my apartment was *extremely* cozy and I would (at least sometimes) work out in front of the TV. I read more, created more, and entertained more.

So that's lesson two. Taking away the couch & TV doesn't make me any less of a couch potato. It makes me more bed-ridden. When I get back to the States I will keep this in mind when setting up housekeeping again.

There's plenty more in the Well of Uncomfortable Truths... but that's enough for today.

TAG: Code Watermelon

*Can someone PLEASE explain to me how we use our hearts to fly? And how does this help me when I try to explain "wings" when we do the animal unit???

The insanity continues

2009-08-25T09:00:00.007-07:00

You know, there's a lot of pop-psychology out there about having a positive attitude and the 'laws of attraction'... you know you put good energy out into the universe and the universe rewards you with your heart's desire.

I'm here to tell you that that whole philosophy is crap. Not 100% crap, of course... but like 70% crap. Sometimes shit happens. And when it does, sometimes it feels good to just complain. So complain I will. Trying to suck it up and forcing myself to keep a good attitude was just driving me bonkers. I've felt a LOT better since venting about all this garbage at work.

I was feeling pretty good this morning. I got to sleep in and spend some time at Starbucks just relaxing. I really needed that. Because my two kid classes were canceled, I only ended up having my one new class in the evening. I showed up a couple hours early to prep the class and as soon as I walked in, the manager approached me. "Your two students.... they will study on Saturday."
"Ok" I said... more power to them I thought.
"You will teach them 9am to 10:30am, and 10:45 to 12:15"
Um, I don't think so! "I already have a class on Saturday morning."
"No, you will teach these students... we will find another teacher for your class."

GAAAHHH! So now, I'm back to having the two kids, and my old class is going to a totally different teacher. At least this time I get some advanced warning. But not even one class to tell the kids I'm leaving. You know, these are kids that I've been teaching for a year and am *finally* starting to make some progress with. Six months ago I would have rejoiced heartily to learn that they were being given to someone else. But now that I've invested so much it sucks that boom it's over, just like that.

In the mean time, with no kid classes on Monday-Friday my schedule is looking a lot more open. And of course they canceled three of my evening classes, which lightens my load that much more. I mentioned to the office staff today that since the kid classes got rescheduled, it's no problem to teach the evening class. But they won't call the student to un-cancel. That would be losing face.

But somehow it's not losing face to have no organizational or management skills whatsoever... no, as long as they keep smiling, everything's fine fine fine.

TAG: Code Sticky Rice

It's like they want me to lose my mind.

2009-08-24T07:46:00.005-07:00

And it's working.

Trying to hold onto any semblance of reality is just futile... everything changes... then changes again. You type B folks, I'm sure you'd love it here... easy breezy maybe you have class, maybe you don't -who knows? But I swear to you I am losing my mind, absolutely losing my mind.

So you know how I'm all stressed out because I have tons of overtime on my schedule this month. Today I finish my first kid class (of three for the day) and go downstairs to grab my next set of books. The manager announces to me as I pass "You have class tomorrow... new class in the evening." And that's how it goes. Not "Can you teach another class tomorrow?" Not even... "We're starting a class next week and you need to teach it." No. It's last minute and it's not a question or even a request, it's a statement. So I tell her:

"No. I can't. I'm already teaching 130 hours this month."
"But next month - your two (kid) classes finish."
"Ok - I can start when these two classes finish"

But that's not good enough for her. I go to the teachers room and collect a few things and she comes in after me.

"What do you think about this? If I ask someone to fill in for this week, and you start next month, then you finish in September and they need a get a new teacher again. It's not good for the students, it's better to have only two teachers than three."
"I'm already teaching too much, I can't. I have four classes today and every Monday and Wednesday this month! Four classes is too many."
"But the class is Tuesdays and Thursdays in the evening."
"I can not teach four classes on Monday and Wednesday" (starting at 9am and finishing at 8:30pm) "and another three on Tuesdays and Thursdays" (again starting at 9:30am and finishing at 8:30pm) "It's too much."
"What if I cancel one class for Monday and Wednesday."
Silence from me. I'm beyond brain dead. I don't want to negotiate, I want to have a sensible schedule that I can adjust to and not have to constantly keep juggling everything. I said 'no', I meant 'no' and I don't want to debate it anymore.
"I can cancel this class until next month, cancel three classes, only add two this week."
GAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! "Fine.... fine.... fine."

So then I go upstairs and start crying because I'm so tired of never knowing what they're going to throw at me. I feel lame because I feel completely incapable of standing up for myself. The only time I've ever gotten my way is when I've thrown a complete hissy fit in the middle of the office. When I got here I was so disgusted at the way the teachers would yell and argue every little point with the staff, but now I understand it. We're treated like robots.... like we can just walk into a classroom at a moments notice and teach anything, like it doesn't matter if they cancel or reschedule or give us the wrong information for a class or add a student or take out a student or rearrange our rooms or take away our bathroom. And when you try to be polite and reason with them, you get nowhere. I know I need to be more assertive, but seriously - I'd said that I didn't want the class like three different times. I can be assertive... I just can't deal with manipulative bullies.

Needless to say I was not in a good mindset for my five year old, and she was distracted and disobedient anyway. I pulled out some tests and started grading them while she hid under the table. I gave up.

I did a bit better with my 14 year old - his English is pretty good and we've been working on writing which gives me a fair amount of time to just sit there quietly. I was comforted ever so slightly by the fact that it was my last class for the day (the next one being the one the manager canceled to get me to teach tomorrow's class). When I was finished I was soooo ready to leave. But knowing that I had that 9:30am kid class tomorrow I decided to do some prep work and found an activity that I thought she'd like and made the appropriate copies.

Finished for the day I ended up going to dinner with the Head Teacher we joked about going out clubbing but obviously weren't going to... not with early classes the next morning. We were just getting ready to leave when I noticed my phone ringing. When I grabbed it I noticed it was our manager calling. "Oh god... I don't want to answer it, I don't want another class tomorrow!" but I did answer it.

"So sorry... problem with your schedule. Your two (kid) classes canceled already."
"What?"
"They go back to school tomorrow."
"So I don't have class tomorrow morning."
"No, no class."
"Fine... fine... fine."

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Obviously I'm happy to get to sleep in tomorrow. But it's like they just don't get it. They don't get that I actually try to prep classes in advance, that whether or not I have class in the morning determines what I do the night before, that I've now wasted time and energy and paper prepping an activity for a class that's not going to happen, that I'd been carefully parsing out student book pages with outside activities so that we'd finish the book when we finished the course, that I've had these kids for five days a week for the past month and a half and I won't even get to say goodbye to them. They don't care.... and it makes me not want to care. I may have class tomorrow, I may not, I may have ten classes tomorrow. It might be Pre-Intermediate like they told me, it might be Starter. Who knows? There might be 10 students, there might be 15, there might be 3, there might be one guy and his wife who's not even a registered student. Why does it matter? Why should I care? All that haggling this morning, crying in my classroom... all for nothing, it's all going to change anyway!!!

Losing my mind I tell you ... losing my mind.

TAG: Code Coconuts

I'm fine.

2009-08-23T09:01:00.003-07:00

Thanks to eveyone who posted happy links in the comments yesterday. I spent the better part of today in bed looking at awkward family photos and some very hungry turtles. I've been having a rough go of things lately. There's nothing huge... just an endless list of little things that have been wearing me down.

I hated that I only had one day off a week, but it was fine, really because I wasn't working that many hours. Sunday was for 'doing things' and I could relax during the downtime on my easy days.

I hated my Saturday classes, but it was fine because that was just Saturday. The rest of the week was adult classes.

But then I got another kid class... and now two more. I now have five young learner classes, and am teaching kids 6 days a week. It is more draining than even I could have imagined. Coming up with new activities day after day after day. And it's one on one with three of the kids, so I can't even make them write up role-plays or do discussion activities together. It's a nightmare for me.

But even that was fine... because I didn't have a full load of classes. I can't turn down classes if I'm working under a full-time load. So, fine fine fine. I'll adjust, I'll deal, no problem, mai bpen lai.

But this month two of my old classes started up again, and now I'm working overtime, tons and tons of overtime. There's 130 teaching hours on my schedule for this month, my contract is for 100 hours a month. So this is a lot more than I'm used to. And teaching hours doesn't equal 'working hours' as I don't get paid for my prep time, or time I spend grading exams or writing progress reports. And it doesn't really reflect the days when I have to start classes at 9:00 and don't finish until 8:30pm.

It's really taking a lot out of me, but again... it's fine, it's fine it's fine. Because I've been worried about money and all the extra hours will help make up for the fact that I haven't saved as much money as I had hoped.

I never liked not having my own classroom, but it was fine. Keep it simple, just bring my materials to class every day - no problem. Except that I'm accumulating more and more and more stuff for my kid classes (a box of markers & pencils, stick puppets for dialogues, glue, scissors, markers, magazines for collages etc. It's taking me two trips to set up the classroom. Fine fine fine... not worth complaining about. But now they're rearranging all the classrooms. They've taken the big conference table out of the room where I teach a class of 9 (I like teaching at a conference table, sitting like an equal with my students), and replaced it with desks (which I hate because they're not set up for pair work and a pain in the ass to move around). Then they've moved the conference room into the room where I teach my one five year old girl. Whereas we used to have one table and plenty of room to walk around and do activities "fly to the [picture of a] bird... swim to the river.... hop to the bunny." we now have two tables and barely enough room to maneuver around them.

They can't really do anything about the rooms because they're preparing for an influx of new corporate students, and they'll need to accomodate a lot of students in each class. Fine fine fine fine fine. Whatever... mai bpen lai... adjust adjust adjust. But as of Saturday the manager decided to change the kitchen into another student lounge... but has locked the staff bathroom because it would be tacky to have a bathroom near where the students hang out. Gah!!!! So now when I'm spending 12 hours a day at the school I have to hike upstairs to the student bathrooms... which inexplicably have the toilet paper rolls *outside* the bathroom. Because somehow it's not tacky to have to gather your TP in the hallway right outside your classroom before going into the bathroom. No that's not tacky at all. But it's fine fine fine because now I'm going to be leaving in a month and a half. Not worth getting into a stink about.

I miss Bunny & Bobby, and I'm pretty lonely here with no real friends to hang out with. But you know, it was okay because I was still somewhat social with the other teachers. Except that a couple of situations have moved some of these casual friendships from 'tolerable & occasionally fun' to 'unpleasant but occasionally tolerable.' So I don't even have anyone to bitch about all these petty grievances with.

It's profoundly ironic actually, I speak to people all day long, but I don't have anyone to talk to. And with no one to talk to, no one to help me unravel all my experiences...they all just get locked into an obsessive track in my brain. People, the crazies have come out, and it's starting to get ugly. It's one thing to talk to yourself, it's another thing to talk to yourself in public.... but now I find myself walking around arguing with myself... out loud... in public. And then I catch myself doing it, realize that I've crossed into crazy-town and start either laughing or crying or both. And then I tell myself that I'm okay... I'm okay, I'm just having a bad day. But I don't believe myself, because I've been having a lot of bad days lately. And then I realize that I'm arguing with myself again.

I'm ready to go home. I feel like I hit my peak at the 8 month mark and it's been a slow decent since then. The bad days are starting to outnumber the good days and the good days just aren't as good as they were before. But I don't really have a 'home' to go to right now. When I do get back to the states it's going to take a bit of work to create a home for myself again.... and I'm not looking forward to that. Well, except for the people speaking English part... I am looking forward to that.... and the cheese. I am *definitely* looking forward to the cheese.

I'm not doing very well.

2009-08-22T09:05:00.001-07:00

I could use some cheering up.

The KISS method to language acquisition

2009-08-19T01:26:00.008-07:00

When Bunny was here her method for learning Thai was to either copy whatever she'd heard (leading her to believe that the phrase for "fried rice" was in actuality the phrase for "how much") or to invent crazy sentences that were fun to learn, like "Rebecca's boyfriend's dog can't swim." (regardless of the fact that no, I don't have a boyfriend, if I did he probably wouldn't have a dog, but if he did the dog would almost certainly know how to swim). To her credit, Bunny can say "Are you eating cookies behind me?" in Mandarin, and "Your eyes are delicious." in Greek.

Now I'm not going to say her method of learning new languages is *wrong* per se. but that it's probably more entertaining as a linguistic exercise than actually helpful when trying to survive in a country that speaks that language. While she seemed to understand a great deal more Thai than I could, judging by our success in restaurants, my Thai was more easily understood.

This is also the approach I take in teaching. Communication is more important than showing off.

Here are two examples from the test I gave on Saturday. The instructions are "Write about what you are doing next weekend. Say what you are doing / where you are going and why."

1. Next weekend, I'm going to Central with my friend at Bangkok. We're shopping. We will buy something When we need And we will buy the Book. And on Sunday come back to Rayong. We going to the beach at Pattaya. I want to play spreed boat. I love Bangkok and Pattaya. And I love to shopping. *

2. Next weekend I'm going to buy a new book at the bookstore because I want to read a new book.

Guess who got a 10 out of 10?

TAG: Code Watermelon

*for the love of Pete, I don't know how many times I've tried to teach the phrase "go shopping"

20 Questions

2009-08-16T04:15:00.007-07:00

I found this list of 20 Spiritual Questions on Brave New Traveler. I know that my own concepts of religion and spirituality have changed dramatically over the course of my life so far, and this is an interesting way of setting out what I believe right now. I really wish I'd done this in both HS and right after college, the comparisons would have been fascinating (to me). I would really like to see how other people answer the same questions, so if you do this questionnaire and want to share it - please post the link in the comments.

1. Why is there poverty and suffering in the world?

In Galapagos, Kurt Vonnegut blames our over-sized brains. I think he has a point. The Buddhists blame desire, and I think they have a point too.

I think ultimately humans are flawed creatures. We think too much, we want too much, when things don't go the way we think they should, or when we don't get what we want, we hurt.... and sometimes we hurt other people. Very few of us have mastered the concept of being content where we are with what we have. And I think this causes a lot of suffering.

2. What is the relationship between science and religion?

I think they are two paths trying to get at the same truth. You could say that one is an external search and one an internal search. I don't think they should be in competition or conflict. The truth that's out there is bigger than either science or religion alone can explain.

3. Why are so many people depressed?

I think different people are depressed for different reasons. For some people it can be a chemical imbalance related to other health problems. In other people it can be an inability to cope with what life has thrown at them, one reaction to trauma is just to shut down. Other people have just never learned how to be happy. In the US I think a lot of depression comes from a lack of authenticity, a lack of meaning and a lack of connection.

4. What are we all so afraid of?

Of pain, of suffering, of loneliness, of change, of someone someday finding out our deep dark secrets and laughing at them.

5. When is war justifiable?

Ooooooohhhh.... toughie! ONLY defensively, either in defense of one's own country or when a stronger power is attacking a weaker one - and the weaker one *asks* for help. And ONLY after all other diplomatic options have been attempted, and a thorough analysis of the costs of war are taken into a count.

I think we need to do a MUCH better job of proactively preventing war: US DEPARTMENT OF PEACE

6. How would God want us to respond to aggression and terrorism?

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

7. How does one obtain true peace?

One would have to remove oneself from human interaction - either physically hiding out in a cave somewhere, or mentally and emotionally avoiding any ties to other people. The question is...do you really want to obtain 'true peace'. I think part of being human, being alive is passion, emotion, connection, conflict, reconciliation, growth. I don't know that you can have those things and true peace at the same time.

8. What does it mean to live in the present moment?

Feeling the cool creaminess of my cha yen and savoring every layer of flavor, listening to the rain pound down on the concrete, smelling the cigarette of the person smoking next door, watching the woman clean off her plate before assembling the next sandwich, noticing exactly how bright the shredded carrots are against the green of the lettuce, staring at the shih-tzu riding in the basket of the motorbike passing by.

9. What is our greatest distraction?

Everyone has their own favorite I think, entertainment, drugs/alcohol, sex, work, interpersonal drama. For whatever thing you think you *should* be focused on, there is an equal and opposite number of things to distract you from it.

10. Is current religion serving its purpose?

Which religion? For whom? I think some people have found religious experiences / commitments that enrich their lives without hurting other people... and for them, sure it's serving it's purpose. In general, as a benefit to the world at large... I think like all human endeavors it's a wash. There's some good and there's some bad.

11. What happens to you after you die?

I have no idea.

12. Describe heaven and how to get there.

Well, I was taught that heaven was eternal communion with God and other faithful souls. My image is pretty much your standard Christian interpretation - lots of white fluffy clouds and singing. But I'm not sure I really believe in that anymore. Sometimes I think it must be some sort of non-physical place, just kind of floating around in the cosmos connected to everything.

13. What is the meaning of life?

42

14. Describe God.

In Bible study I was once asked to draw a picture of God and all I came up with was a blank piece of paper. I don't know if I believe in God in a strictly Christian manner anymore. I believe that there's something out there, something more than what we can see and touch. The Christian name for it is God. But does it care about individual lives? Does it really interact with us? Did it really send it's only begotten son that man may not perish but have eternal life? I don't know. I don't really think anyone can know.

15. What is the greatest quality humans possess?

The abilities to create and destroy human life. And I think we are entirely too careless in the use of these two great powers.

16. What is it that prevents people from living to their full potential?

Fear, social and physical constraints.

17. Nonverbally, by motion or gesture only, act out what you believe to be the current condition of the world.

*shakes head*
*shrugs*
*smiles*

18. What is your one wish for the world?

That the light will always be that much brighter than the dark is dark. That good will always be just that much stronger than evil. That justice will be done more often than not.

19. What is wisdom and how do we gain it?

Wisdom is understanding. Understanding why we do the things we do, understanding why other people do the things they do, understanding the effects of our own choices, understanding which things are beyond our control, understanding when to stand up and fight and when to let the world flow around us.

I think you gain wisdom by being watching, listening, talking, reading, experimenting, allowing yourself to be challenged, allowing yourself to be wrong, taking time to reflect and analyze what you've seen and heard and said and read and experienced.

20. Are we all one

No, but we are all connected.

TAG: Code Watermelon

Rebel gets Rebelious

2009-08-15T18:40:00.003-07:00

People often* ask me how I got the nickname Rebel. Well, gentle reader it's because of days like today:

I am NOT going to take a shower this morning!

That's right ladies and gentlemen. I've been taking 2-3 showers a day for I don't know how long and I'm done.** I am just not going to take a shower this morning. I've put on my shorts & tank*** top and I'm on my way.

FIGHT THE MAN!****

TAG: Code Bananas

* and by 'often' I mean 'never'

** I will probably take a shower as soon as I get home.

*** and swimsuit, as I'm headed to the beach right now.

**** I have no idea who 'the man' is.

Dirty Old Men Business English Class

2009-08-13T09:31:00.004-07:00

My Dirty-Old-Men-Business-English class is drawing to a close. This is one of my favorite classes. They are not actually dirty-old-men, but they do tease me, and each other quite a bit. For example the time I had them play the "Don't say yes or no." game. Basically someone sits at the front of the room and the rest of the class fires yes/no questions at them while, as the name of the game implies, they try to say anything other than "yes" or "no". Well, the oldest and quietest of the students got up to the front and the guys started with the questions:

Q "Do you love your wife?"
A "I think so."
Q "Do you have a girlfriend?"
A "Sometimes."
Q "Are you wearing underwear?"
A "A G-string."
Q "Do you have a condom?"
A "Used last night."

I was laughing so hard I was crying, occasionally pulling myself together to correct questions
" 'Do you like ladyboys.' not 'Is you like ladyboys?' "

I've been teaching them since October... possibly September even, and next week will be the last class. They'd finished the book well early and for the last three classes I had pulled together activities from supplemental Business English books. But today, after spending about three hours searching through half a dozen resource books for something interesting and relevant to teach them, I gave up and decided to have a little fun.

I found an activity for writing a love story. It was, like most of my improvised lessons, a bit of a dud... but I think some of the guys had fun with it. At one point I was walking around looking at the students' papers when one covered his up and said... "Don't look, it's dirty, dirty." Given that the subject was romance I feigned a little shock and said "Oh no! I don't want to read it if it's dirty." While one of the students seemed to understand me, the original student didn't so I asked "What do you mean by dirty." and he pointed out different places where he'd scribbled out words and rewrote them in the margins etc. I explained that in America, "dirty" can also mean "very sexual." and he responded "oh no no... not like that". The first student however turned to me and asked "Why is that? Why do you say 'dirty' for sex?"

Oh man. This is why you should never joke around with your students! How exactly do you explain America's hypocritical and puritanical attitudes about sex in two minutes or less using only Elementary English? I chose to go with a historical /geographical approach- briefly discussing Victorian England, the Puritans, the Bible belt, the rural/urban dichotomy of morals, and interestingly, the Mormons. I used the phrase "crazy" a lot. They understand "crazy." He just looked at me like I was speaking nonsense. And I was. As a culture, our attitude towards sex makes no sense at all.

At one point he said "But you don't think that..." Gah! This is not a conversation they prepared us for on the CELTA! I went with "Actually, I was raised that way." and told him that my sister's wedding (at a Baptist church in North Carolina) they were not allowed to kiss during the ceremony. But then I reassured him that my city was pretty liberal - you could stay with your boyfriend if you wanted to, you could be gay, anything was pretty much okay. That seemed to satisfy him, so I quickly extricated myself and continued on with the class.

I'm going to miss this class. They are easily my most fluent students, and the most fun. But I am probably not going to miss the surprise personal questions about my moral upbringing!

TAG: Code Sticky Rice

August is insanely busy for me, 30+ teaching hours a week is pretty brutal. I've already had five 12-hour days this month, and more to come. CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!

Oh wait... that's right, I don't have a bathtub.

Or hot water.

=/